astro-pants

baggy or poofy ‘mc hammer-esque’ pants. often misnomed parachute pants.
“astro pants are for losers. real men wear parachute pants. duh.”
do you ever think about how crazy the world would be if your genitals were under your arms, instead of between your legs? would long sleeved shirts be the new pants? would short sleeved shirts be the new shorts? i often wonder what the genital configuration of beings in other galaxies might be. what if their genitals were located in their hands? would gloves then be the new pants? how about if their genetals were located in their foreheads? would hats then be the new pants? would it be a requirement to wear a hat in a public place?
also, why do we have two of everything? what’s the deal with two? two eyes, nostrils, lips, upper and lower teeth, arms, legs, etc. weird. but we only have one brain (with 2 halves), heart, stomach, liver, p-n-s, v-g-n-. did you know that the female human body has 10 holes in it? 2 eyes, 2 nostrils, one mouth, 2 ears, one urethra, one v-g-n-, and one -n-s. but the male body only has 9 holes, because the p-n-s functions as the urethra and reproductive organ in one. i think about this sort of thing all the time. and i often wonder if there is a more efficient configuration for a living organism.
did you know that if you chop a starfish in two, it regenerates itself and reproduces into two distinct starfish. i wonder if there is a limit to the number it would regenerate, if it was chopped into smaller sections? now, that’s what i call efficient.
think outside the box!
no shirt, no shoes, no service!
“hey, what about pants?”