Atascadero

a town of 25,000 in san luis obispo county, california. life in atascadero involves dealing with rednecks, soccer moms, and the city’s gigantic, overbearing, and incompetent police force. the police typically like to imagine they’re in los angeles, and compensate for the lack of real crime in the city by har-ssing teenagers and motorists. they also receive huge amounts of funding with which they buy new cars and automatic rifles, so the officers can feel like their jobs aren’t worthless.
in atascadero, soccer mom families typically move to expensive suburban-esque housing that borders rural land, and complain about dirtbike noise.
rednecks in atascadero are generally part of a rare redneck subculture- that is, wealthy rednecks. they typically have large plots of land, expensive trucks, and dirtbikes (typically boats, atvs and jetskis as well). they enjoy anything relating to beer and recreational motor vehicles.
“atascadero only has 25,000 people in it. why are there so many cops?”
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city in san luis obispo county, ca where the police have nothing to do but break up high school parties, write parking tickets at the local high school, and call for backup on routine traffic stops. there is an average of 1 homicide per year, 87% of which occur at motel 6 on the corner of santa rosa & el camino real.
there once was a bowling alley but the man shut her down a few years back.
stuck with nothing to do, young people often drink in excess and use recreational drugs, primarily marijuana, but recent studies show an influx of harcore sh-t.
adults of atascadero fall into three categories: meth freaks, soccer moms, and normies. meth freaks frequent local attractions such as spencer’s market, chalk mountain liquor, and the paloma creek drive-thru market. and they do meth. soccer moms and their husbands often drive excessively large vehicles and hog the road, so as to -ssure normies and teenagers not drive at reasonable speeds. normies are a diverse group of people that do not fall into either of the previous two categories.
atascadero’s economy can be divided into two main groups: kelly gearhart and el camino real. kelly gearhart is a local crook that dominates large-scale housing development in the greater northern san luis obispo county. due to the recent housing market crash combined with gearhart’s constant irresponsible reinvesting, he is bankrupt and all the banks ever are hitting him up for millions. el camino real is the main drag in atascadero, upon which 95% of businesses are located. the main issue with el camino real is its length. it runs the entire length of the town, approximately 7 miles, so shopping on foot is not an option. hopes of a downtown area were crushed in the 50’s when some really smart people decided the freeway should go right through the middle of town (wtf is wrong with the riverbed?). some claim the area around the intersection of traffic way & el camino real as a promising downtown scene, but experts suggest suck it easy.
there’s nothing to do, let’s get drunk/high because we live in atascadero.

let’s go shopping anywhere else because atascadero doesn’t have any shopping.
atascadero is quite a boring town 2 hours outside of santa barbara. no one does anything fun here. atascadero’s main tourist destination is the in and out burger. atascadero teens tend to hang out in san luis obispo.
kid 1: on our way to san fransisco i’m gonna go to atascadero!
kid 2: why?
kid 1: …in and out…
kid 2: we have one of those here.
kid 1: oh yeah. i guess atascadero sucks.
a town of 25,000 in san luis obispo county, california. life in atascadero involves dealing with rednecks, soccer moms, and the city’s gigantic, overbearing, and incompetent police force. the police typically like to imagine they’re in los angeles, and compensate for the lack of real crime in the city by har-ssing teenagers and motorists. they also receive huge amounts of funding with which they buy new cars and automatic rifles, so the officers can feel like their jobs aren’t worthless.
in atascadero, soccer mom families typically move to expensive suburban-esque housing that borders rural land, and complain about dirtbike noise.
rednecks in atascadero are generally part of a rare redneck subculture- that is, wealthy rednecks. they typically have large plots of land, expensive trucks, and dirtbikes (typically boats, atvs and jetskis as well). they enjoy anything relating to beer and recreational motor vehicles.
“sh-t. atascadero only has like, 25,000 people in it. why the f-ck are there so many cops?”
a small-minded, redneck community that rejects new ideas, and encourages drinking beer, “ridin’ them dirtbikes an’ atv’s”, and a combination of both. most girls and guys stay in the area after high school and pop out some children, or are arrested numerous times for meth related incidents.
it gets hot as h-ll in the summer and cold, cold, cold in the winter.
the city council has a small number of individuals who seek to open the minds of the rest, but alas, those individuals are treated poorly; just like those who once tried to convince the world that the earth is, indeed, round.
atascadero is known for the state hospital where the criminally insane are held. it’s also known for a place to stop and get gas on your way through it.
even though atascadero is almost always at a drought level, the town wants to keep putting in new golf courses. apparently these genuises atteneded atascadero high school and received, or maybe not, a diploma.
advice: move far away from here. i did, and it’s been an eye-opening experience.
“where are you from?”

“well, it’s a little place near san luis obispo…you wouldn’t know it.”

“where?”

“um, atascadero….”

“oh. hmm. uh, yeah, i think i got lost one time in that area and turned around there.”

“probably.”
atascadero, a town in transition. atascadero is a central coast town located between l.a. and san francisco that has attracted a large group of newcomers from both directions. atascadero boast a brand new state of the art theatre, new resturants, art galleries, and wine tasting rooms. highway 41, the main off ramp, has been recently widended with the procpect of more tourist traffic as atascadero is centrally located between morro bay, san luis obispo, and paso robles. atascadero also has the only zoo on the central coast. the town is pretty, well located and getting better with time!
atascadero wet place
city in california, very small. “mud hole” in spanish. home of red necks, stoners/druggies, psychos and normals(whom are very rare). avoid if at all possible. good luck.
“hey bro ever heard of atascadero?”
“ewwww….dont speak of it”