Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a “diet” while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, b-tter, and lard

(aka fatkins diet)
i’m on the atkins diet. yesterday, i ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of b-tter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of crisco for dessert. the only reason i gained 135 pounds was because i accidentally inhaled a crouton.
a diet, invented by a certain person i know called atkins. the premise of the diet is that vegans are lower on the food chain than other humans, and hence should be eaten.
steve just ate another vegan.
a diet pioneered by dr. atkins, in which he emphasizes an extreme reduction in carbohydrates in one’s princ-p-l diet to lose weight. the person on the diet is required to eat a certain amount of protein a day to help with repairs in musicle m-ss.

critics painstakingly try to debunk the atkins diet as being ridiculous and lame, but the science behind the diet doesn’t lie. since carbohydrates are your body’s primary energy source, significantly reducing them causes your body to start burning it’s second natural energy source: stored fat. when your body starts doing this, it’s in a state called “ketosis.” (not to be confused with ketoacidosis, a dangerous conditions that diabetics can slip into if a certain blood-sugar level isn’t maintained.)

objective studies have shown that, over time, this diet is just as effective as any other diet.

contrary to what the morons say on here, you are restricted in what types of proteins you consume, and you don’t totally eliminate carbohydrates. you’re simply eliminating the types that have a high impact on your blood-sugar level.

furthermore, critics like to argue that consumption of high amounts of proteins and cholesterol while on this program have a detrimental effect on your health. this is almost always untrue. since you no longer have excess sugar to burn (from your own consumption), your body changes over from a sugar-burning metabolism to a fat-burning metabolism. the excess fat and cholesterol consumed by you is simply burned away.
i lost 75lbs on the atkins diet.
a diet that advocating eating basically whatever the h-ll you want as long as it’s low in carbs. supposedly helps you lose weight.
“hey i saw your mom at denny’s today eating a plate of 10 eggs scrambled with extra cheese, 30 strips of bacon, and a large gl-ss of half and half. must have blown half her paycheck on that one.”
“shut up man. she’s on the atkins diet. she’s already lost 10 pounds.”
“what’s that put her at, deuce and a half.”
“close, she’s about 280 nowadays.”
“that’s a huge b-tch!”
should be called “fadkins diet”.
american people think not eating bread will make ’em lose weight. how ’bout doing something that works, like gettin’ off ya freaking jello tush and work out?
a diet in which you count your “net carbs” (which are carbs – dietary fibre). contrary to popular beleif, this diet does not encourage you to eat m-ssive amounts of bacon, cheese and other foods high in fat.
the reason why this diet actually works is because:
1. when you are eating regular carbs, your body uses them for energy by braking them up with insolan (which causes your blood sugar to rise, and then fall dramatically depending on the type of carb you eat) then u crave carbs again….its like a rollercoaster
2. when on atkins, you are basically trying to keep your blood sugar constant – flat lined you could say.
3. when u don’t use carbs for energy, your body switches in to ketosis – which is fat-burning mode. instead of your body burning carbs and storing fat, your burning fat you eat and fat you store – that is why you can eat more fat on this diet – fat replaces carbs

– this diet has been proven by many studies to help type 2 diebetics – if you think about it, type 2 diebetics is like being allergic to carbs – your body cannot process them efficiently.

– i agree that this is a overly hyped diet – but it actually does work. i’ve lost 20 pounds over a month and a half – about 3 pounds a week. and im not hungry all the time like i was when i ate carbs! you have to do it properly – check out www.atkins.com for more infomation
a typical day on atkins (if you do it right)

breakfast:

2 egg omlette with cheese, ham, green pepper and onion
or
low carb pancakes with low carb syrup with strawberries
or
low carb bread (made with soy and whole wheat), with natural peanut b-tter

lunch:

garden salad with chicken
or
low carb wrap with cheese, mayo, ham and chicken w/veggies

supper:

chicken breast with cheese and salad
or any meat with veggies

snacks:

– nuts
– berries
– sugar free candies/chocolate (eat sparingly though!)
– veggies and dip
– low carb bread with cream cheese or peanut b-tter
an illogical diet that says eating lots of fat and protein will make you lose weight, when it actually just gets your arteries clogged and makes you constipated. it’s actually better to have carbs
i’m having a quadruple byp-ss surgery and i haven’t taken a sh-t in a week

it’s because of that d-mn atkins diet

no! it’s because of the piece of bread i ate last night!

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