Atom Bomb Assault
a disgusting summer time s-x move that requires someone to sh-t into a bunch of condoms and paperclip them shut a few hours before having s-x, and then let them bake out on the blacktop in the hot summer sun so they have the consistency of nuclear waste. then, right before you have s-x, you need to run outside and grab the condom “bombs” and put them into a shoebox and bring them to the bedroom you are using for s-x. then, right before you bust a nut, you have to make sounds like a b-52 bomber and drop the sh-tty latex bombsh-lls all over the girl you are f-cking. as they fall, be sure to make sound effects like bombs h-tting the ground and make sure you hit every shot because you dont want to waste any p–p that you took hours to prepare. be sure to roll around in it afterwards, making sure you have the girl locked in the alligator f-ckhouse position and while youre doing that pretend that youre dying from the fake atom bombs and vibrate your body unnecessarily, hopefully you will tear the womans v-g-n-.
example 1:
john: psshheeeewwww boom! psshheewwwwww boom!
tina: g-d f-cking d-mnit john what are you doing
john: boom! run tina atom bombs
tina: no you f-ck thats a condom with sh-t in it that is paperclipped shut!
john: quick lets go to the bomb shelter!
tina: what bomb shelter!? i cant even move youre performing and alligator f-ckhouse and i am covered in steaming sh-t and condoms!
john: ahh i am dying from the radiation!!
tina: jesus f-cking christ john why are you shaking so much the p–p is all over!
john: wow that was a great atom bomb -ssault im glad i spent all my money on that big box of condoms and filled them with p–p and threw them at you.
example 2:
old lady 1: what are those condom sh-ts in the street?
old lady 2: oh its just the neighbor john preparing his sh-ts for an atom bomb -ssault tonight.
old lady 1: oh i remember the days when i used to do that
old lady 2: yeah right when carl got back from j-pan, he showed me how he bombed hiroshima by doing it to me. i was so proud of him.
old lady 1: ahh to be young and covered in sh-t
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