auth

pr-nunciation: “oth”.

telephone speak abbreviation for “authorization” when talking with medical receptionists, when discussing whether or not a scheduled examination, treatment, consult, etc has been approved by your insurance company. this spoken abbreviation is apparently used to save less than one second of time in order to allow for more abbreviated phone conversations with other mentally ill patients.
telephone: ring…ring…f-cking ring…

brain cancer dude: “h-llo, this is jack”.

receptionist: “h-llo, your appointment for the mri is “auth”.”

brain cancer dude: “my appointment is off”?

receptionist: “no, sir, your appointment is auth”.

brain cancer dude: “do you mean my appointment is authorized, or that my appointment is off?”

receptionist: “your appointment is “auth”, it has been authorized by your insurance company”.

brain cancer dude: “well, why didn’t you just come out and say my appointment is authorized? i realize you are busy and just trying to save a second or two by abbreviating the word “authorized”, so you could get on to your next patient phone call, but it seems now, that your abbreviation has cost you more time, explaining what the h-ll you meant, when you said my appointment is “auth”. i thought you said my appointment is “off”. there’s a big difference here.”

receptionist: “oh, i’m very sorry sir, i meant that your insurance company approved your appointment for your mri.”

brain cancer dude: “thanks, i’m glad we could clear this up. my brain doesn’t work like it used to. good bye.”

receptionist: “ok, buh-bye. thank you.”…click.

brain cancer dude: “well mother f-ck. auth or oth. whatever, reckon i have to look this up on urban dictionary. this f-cking sucks… “auth”…what in the name of f-ck is this world coming to?”