autosexual

s-xual orientation toward oneself; that is, preferring self-gratification over other forms of s-xual activity. often occurs as a result of numerous failed attempts at interpersonal relationships, leading the individual to make a conscious choice to become autos-xual rather than face disappointment and frustration yet again.

may be observed with greater frequency in the near future as a result of the “metros-xual backlash,” due to no one being able to even begin to guess the orientation of attractive, well-dressed males anymore!!

numerous advantages to autos-xuality include:

– no risk of pregnancy
– no risk of std’s being transmitted
– able to ‘get lucky’ every time at the bar or club
– the s-x is always good
– no relationship issues like jealousy or cheating partner

… need i say more?

i mean, are there any bad things about it?
“g-d love ’em, but those d-mn metros-xuals have really f-cked up my game to the point where i’ve decided it’s way better to just be autos-xual!”
adjective denoting an intense s-xual desire for oneself. note that this desire can be combined with other forms. (a combination autophile and heteros-xual, for example)
d-mn, i just sprouted a big rubbery looking in the mirror. i must be getting autos-xual.
autos-xuality: the practice of self gratification due to an inability (or disdain from) finding a partner.
autos-xuality is not reserved for women as the primary defination would suggest.

being a heteros-xual male, i have been unable to find a female partner for years and have just accepted the fact that i will be autos-xual for the rest of my life.
someone who has s-x with only himself or herself.
unwilling to risk stds, yet having not given up completely on life, she has been an autos-xual since her divorce.
someone who is physically and emotionally attracted to themselves. they may get turned when they look at the mirror, fantasize about their looks and their naked bodies, have thoughts about having a doppelgänger/clone of themselves to have s-x with it and even think about marrying themselves (this has actually happened in taiwan: a woman married herself!).

although similar, this term should not be confused with metros-xual and h-m-s-xual. metros-xuals dress to impress other people, to get compliments for their ego. while they may feel that they look good, they’ll still feel no s-xual attraction towards themselves. h-m-s-xuals also may think they look good, but they’ll not be attracted to themselves.

autos-xuals are less vain, narcissistic and uppity than metros-xuals, on the contrary. autos-xuals find themselves attractive not because they think they’re the hottest thing in the world but because they are merely attracted to themselves and in their insides (self love). unlike metros-xuals, autos-xuals don’t dress to impress, they don’t try to look glamorous in front other people to fish for compliments. why would they, because they only need themselves and not others.

autos-xuality is more common in men than in women. women tend to be codependent, usually wanting someone to complete them. men are usually not like that.

not to mention, autos-xuality does not mean someone who is attracted to cars!
– are you an autos-xual? isn’t that narcissism at its best?

– i’m an autos-xual. i’m in love with myself to the point where i would date it and sleep with it. but i never try to flaunt my body and show off. us autos-xuals are not narcissistic. the love is between me & me, not between me and the crowd. isn’t it arrogance and unfairness to think that your partner is the most “hottest thing on the planet”?

– -shuts up-
having or pertaining to the preference for gratification by one’s clone, doppleganger, or one’s alternate from a parallel dimension.
“it exists. the vamp willow from {buffy the vampire slayer}:dopplegangland was totally autos-xual.”
someone who is s-xually attracted to or has s-x with automobiles.
flex: ey yo my dude! you don’t understand how much i love my car bro!

buk: nah son, i think i do. your girl be trippin my dude.

flex: f-ck that. my car always does what i want it to do, never talks back to me or question me. i choose my car over that b-tch. i’m turning auto!

buk: ah f-ck. you autos-xual -ss dude.

flex: h-ll yea bro! i’m coming out the closet, i’m s-xually attracted to cars! daaamn!!! look at that lambo!!! i,d hit that!

buk: f-cking automof-g…

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