bachelor shower
an application of deodorant, in lieu of an actual shower.
i was a bit stinky this morning, but a quick bachelor shower sorted that out. ’til lunchtime, anyway.
the culmination to one long, ridiculously dirty filled fantasy before the ultimate reality of marriage. the bachelor shower is a time for consolidation and reflection of the fact that the two nasty hookers you thought were hot, weren’t. a time to wash away all the c-ke and weed out of your system. a time to cleanse yourself of the stripper sparkles, and v-g-n-l residue. lastly, a moment to figure out a way to say you can’t buy the house you wanted, although this does not specifically need to happen for the shower to be considered a success.
mary – honey, how was the bachelor party in vegas?
ted – (pauses)more like a bachelor shower.
mary – what was that honey?
ted – (shakes his head) eh, never mind, never mind.
mary – ok,(puzzled)so, do you want to go turn in the paperwork on the mortgage for our new(breaks a tear of happiness) dream home!
ted – about that…
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