Bad Candy
yes, bad candy does actually exist. no, it does not refer to weak cocaine or fake acid. bad candy is old -ss dollar store candy that’s been sitting on the shelves so long that antiques road show wants a peice of that fossilized glucose. usually a very cheap co-worker will bring bad candy to work in an attempt to make friends. epic failure occurs although the bad candy does somehow disappear (probably to the yet to be defined “candy wh-r-“).
kim: i need some chocolate or something.
elizabeth: purchasing has some candy, try some?
kim: no! it’s bad candy! to open up the wrapper is to unleash the horror!
when you are under the influence and you buy candy that is usually bad, but since you aren’t sober it tastes great.
yo josh, what’d you just buy?
i got me some bad candy?
you’re not sober!
h-ll yeah i’m not!
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