band bitch

one who will do pretty much anything for their marching band. usually, but not always a drum major or color guard captain, most of the time forced into “helping out” (such as opening doors, handing out drill sheets and/or schedules, demostrating proper marching technique, etc.) by the band director. sometimes they come in the form of aspiring drum majors or color guard captains, hoping to b-tter up to the director.
“hey why is mary handing out all those band schedules?”
“well, she wants to be a drum major. she could be next year-she’s already a band b-tch.”
a volunteer slave. someone, male or female, who will do anything for the band for free just to hang out and be near them: tote equipment, wash thier car/laundry, babysit, walk and feed the dog, head off unwanted visitors, go out and bring back fast food/condoms/beer, fill out paperwork. the female version likes to make it very clear they are not there to sleep with band.

band b-tch mottos: “we are not groupies!!! we’re band- aids. we are devoted fans. we’re here to support the band. we do it for the music.”

has a false sense of superiority over groupies and those who are in the business for the money.
“tommy got the band b-tch to distract the photographer for him. she didn’t know he was sneaking out to be with that other girl.”
an indispensable member for any musical group, the band b-tch is essentially the pit crew or water boy for a band. without this selfless individual, the band would not have basic human needs met like hydration and nutrition. good band b-tches have an empathic quality that allows them to sense the needs of the band before they vocalize them. rarely receiving monetary compensation, band b-tches do things like running errands, taking photographs, collecting the band’s tips or retrieving sustenance for the band out of a love for the music, the members or a particular member. often, band b-tches are or become romantic interests of a band member because the member realizes what a benefit it is to have such a selfless, helpful individual be your friend, lover and family. people of any age, s-x or s-xual orientation can be band b-tches.
“i dedicate this grammy to my band b-tch- without his support this would have never been possible!”
like band mama this is a lone female working with a group of male musicians doing everything from making tea, writing music, scheduling digs but unlike band mama get’s treated like brainlessbimbo.
oy band b-tch you’re not writing a book this is meant to be a pop song, duh. and while we’re at it, why haven’t you found rodriguez?he’s been lost for at least 1 hour!