beat the buffet
a system of tactics that allow you to take full advantage of any ‘all you can eat’ buffet. as described by howard, in channel 4 sitcom fresh meat. the plan is as follows:
1. positioning: close to the buffet. minimising plate travel and ensuring prime position for refills.
2. the first round: just one of each item. this is the introductory taster plate; we don’t want to waste stomach sp-ce on non-tasty items.
3. round 2: maximise high value items eg. prawns, over low value bulk foods such as rice or noodle. remember the aim is not to have a satisfying meal out, the aim is to beat the buffet.
4. when you feel like you can’t eat anymore: bring out the transporter. -proceeds to tip a large plate of noodle into a rucksack lined with a plastic bag.
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