Bernardsville

a small town in somerset county with a surprisingly useful town with multiple grocery stores, eating places, and just random sh-t. home to the cr-ppiest movie theatre. ever. the train station will usually have multiple mexicans waiting to be picked up for construction jobs, and the town is divided into two parts. the mountain is covered with some of the richest people in jersey, including 50 cent, mike tyson, and mark ecko (the guy who bought barry bonds ball). the other half, on the other side of 202, is “little paraguay” which his full of relatively poor to middle cl-ss people. the rich people attend delbarton, seton hall, gill, or any other private school of their choice. the residents of little paraguay, and the mexicans in the apartments somehow make up one of the best public schools in nj (who knew?). there are no jews. absolutely none. the town is pathetic, and everyone in it knows, but we accept it and learn to love it. you know lenny’s is the best pizza around, and don’t listen to anyone who has anything else to say. you like the old, drunk-filled station restaurant instead of the new high cl-ss one. the bernards inn is the most expensive place to eat. you’ve never gone, and your parents go only for the most important occasions. the new starbucks is sick, but port city java was better. you know bagel bin is where early morning breakfast is at, or anytime you’re feeling a bacon, egg, and cheese. people migrate from harding, basking ridge, and bedminster to shop in bernardsville, although they hate to admit what a ghetto -ss town it is. the bernardsville food store. haha. anyway, that’s bernardsville, and although we’re mostly rich and spoiled you know its where its at.
person 1: where do you live?

person 2: bernardsville

person 1: oh you’re spoiled. and rich.

person 2: yeah, but my town is the sh-t. and so am i.

person 1: truth.
a super wealthy town in somerset county where everybody is a successful doctor, lawyer, or entrepreneur. it is a town of wealth, sophistication, and people who like to showcase the latest showcases of burberry, lacoste, and j crew. the houses are some of the most beautiful mansion estates in the country that such celebrities as meryl streep, whitney houston, jackie kennedy, marc ecko, and mike tyson, not to mention the prince of monaco, have called home. the town has a very quaint downtown with the best bagels in new jersey at the bagel bin. most people own oceanfront sh-r- houses that they spend most of the summer at. it is such a common occurrence to see a ferrari, bugatti, lamborghini, and maserati on the road that n-body turns their head at them. mercedes, lexus, audi, bmw, or rolls royce are a must. anything less is frowned upon. the schools are some of the best public schools in the country. it’s always entertaining to drive into the high school parking lot to see kids who drive much more expensive cars than the teachers. there are a few spanish people living on the edge of town that mow the lawns, but otherwise everyone ignores them and tries to run them over in the crosswalks for population control.
typical kids from bernardsville:

“poor girl” = i only have a 20 million dollar trust fund

“rich girl” = well, i have a 50 million dollar trust fund. -rolls eyes- loser…

“poor girl” goes home and cries her eyes out while doing c-ke
super rich -ss town in central new jersey’s somerset county. the mountain side of it is sickly wealthy. the otherside of it consists of upper-middle/middle cl-ss people who are mostly white and a fairly large hispanic population who work to service all the other people in town and the bordering wealthy towns as well. someone said the basking ridge is wealthier but is ill-informed. per-capita income in b r is $56,000 and in bernardsville it is $70,000.

just for reference, the beverly hills per capita income is $66,000.

btw, my jewish doctor lives there and the movie theatre there is awesome and more towns should emulate
resident 1: what should we do with all these illegals in town?

resident 2: we gotta keep em’, or who’s gonna wash the dishes at the overpriced restaurants in town or mow our gr-ss.

newly arrived from california resident 3: you better wake up and purge em’ or bernardsville will be third world within 10 years. rich mountain, all the rest mariachi town, trust me!!!!
an incredibly wealthy town that all the ridge kids are jealous of. tons of mexicans which makes for a totally awesome boys soccer team and lots of aliens at the train station. some of the riches most stuck up kids live here, and most of them have nothing better to do than pretend to be druggies and get high all the time. contrary to popular belief, the school is pretty d-mn good but most of the kids who live here can’t wait to get the h-ll out so school spirit sucks almost as bad as the football team. if everyone realized how awesome of a town this is and how lucky they are to live here, it’d be awesome but they dont so it sucks really bad.
dumb ridge kid: hahahah you live in bernardsville you must be poor mexican or high

superior bernards kid: you go to ridge, therefore, you are probably an ignorant jealous sl-t.
a small new jersey town split between rich sn-bs with spooled rich -ss kids, hard working middle cl-ss with stupid stoner kids, and illegal immigrants who work harder than everyone and live 20 to an apartment. one side of town is mansions, the other side is normal houses (little italy or little paragua). the town is run by -ssholes and rich pr-cks who only look out for themselves. in other words a great place to live!!!
in bernardsville, if you crash your lexus and mommy and daddy buy you a mercedes!!!
one of the wealthiest towns in the usa, although it still have a decent amount of middle and upper middle cl-ss areas. there are like a few streets near downtown where the illegal aliens are all packed into. basking ridge people are envious of bernardsville because it is actually a real town and not attempting to be one. basking ridge’s downtown sucks -ss in comparison. to set the record straight on which town is richer.
per capita income
basking ridge: $74,290
bernardsville: $82,282
laguna beach: $85,485
beverly hills: $107,796
greenwich, ct: $112,981

there high school just got a huge expansion even though enrollment is down. this is due to the out of touch populace who still send their kids to private school even though the public schools are some of the best in the state.

meryl streep grew up here.
bernardsville kid: you basking ridge kids are always talkin’ trash about our movie theatre being sh-tty, yet here you are again watching diary of a wimpy kid….f-gs.

basking ridge kids: at least we are getting $500,000 trust funds when we turn 21.

bernardsville kid: yep, you’ll be working for me. (cl-ssier bernardsville kid won’t so cr-ss as to actually mention the size of his trust fund) $10,000,000
a very poor and ugly town filled with f-ggots who think they are better then basking ridge, which is the richest and most prestigious town in the east half of the entire country. people who live in bernardsville claim that basking ridge “sucks” and is worse then them. but in reality bernardville is a piece of sh-t town filled with mexicans and sh-tty movie theatures.
basking ridge kid -talking to another basking ridge friend- : “hey wanna see a movie tonight?”

friend : “yeah sure! there is a movie theature in bernardsville we can go to!”

other friend : “ew why would i want to go to that sh-t hole, lets just take your lamborghini to the mall!”

friend : “okay sure! but first my dad has to finish buying his 9th house and a few more ferraris”