Big Fucking Spider


a really big spider with the seeming propensity to shred you tip to stern. when such spider walks, you can feel the fear through your feet, and the vibrations that it makes running after your -ss. if you see one of these, you have one of 3 options.

-run
-get eaten
-start praying
“hey jack, where did matt go?”
“i dont know for sure, but that really big f-cking spider over there with a leg sticking out of its mouth sure looks suspicious…”
a big f-cking spider, in summary, you are able to hear the d-mn footsteps on your wood floors, and somehow it is breathing and you can hear it.
yo dawg i just saw a big f-cking spider.

did you kill it?

nah, it was too big

well, it may have stolen your car on the way out.

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