Bignelly

a man-like creature who usually comes from dorset that loves beer and s-x. bignelly is loosely related to a bon-bo or chimpanzee in terms of intelligence and s-x-drive and cannot stop grunting and shouting “oh oh oh.” he has 600 bignells in china through his continuing s-m-n donation services. little known is the fact that he is the reason they installed the “one-china policy.” he also commonly parrots the phrases: “sh-t the bed”, “built like a brick sh-t house”, “you’re a little sh-t f-ggot” (in a kind way), and “hey baby.” his beer belly is quite large and he plays with it often in public. he enjoys arts, especially kamasutra with donkeys and goats and maintains a fervent fish-fetish. he hates the scots with a p-ssion but likes mel gibson for his political and religious views. he enjoys trelations with chinese women due to his small sized p-n-s and curiously large b-llsack. his beard, bald spot and insane bursts of rage are characteristic features that may point to a possible bignelly.

he is far rarer to find than either bigfoot or a yeti but is well acquainted with both as they are his cousins.
i found myself in the woods last week and suddely a wild bignelly appeared. i heard him grunting and screaming “oh oh oh” as it began to charge. i remembered i had a can of beer in my bag. i threw in to the brush and ran away. i just survived a ‘hard’ bignelly charging at me. i sighed for a moment and thanked beer lovers everywhere for saving my life.