bin ball

an exceptional in-door, traditionally office based sport invented in early 2005 by a sporting visionary known through bin ball folklore as “brucey”.

the sports spiritual home is in what is referred to as the “monkswell arena” in the heart of the oxfordshire countryside.

the game involves two players, 2 waste paper baskets positioned exactly 25 feet apart and a regulation bin ball (a rolled up ball of paper wrapped in brown parcel tape, weighing 28g and measuring in 54mm in diameter).

players then take it in turns to bowl the ball either under or over arm aiming to get it in the opposing bin. the game consits of 5 innings of 5 deliveries per inning. in the event that the score is tied, a “bin off” ensues starting with the original bowler on a sudden death basis to decide the victor. early records indicate a highest ever score of 11 “bin b-lls” in a single match with 4 straight “bins” in a row. this was set in summer 2006 in the monkswell arena in a compet-tive league tie by challenger “steve”.

extensive research suggests that a primitive form of the game may have been played by the monks around the well. games continue there to this day.
“hey steve, fancy a game of bin ball” the ad-c-ck has left the building.”
binball is a sport, invented by schoolfriends tom whyman and ivan brett when bored with football at school this one time.

essentially, the sport involves three b-lls, each similar in weight and size to a basketball, and two bins. there are two teams of fifteen, each with the aim of getting all three b-lls, at any one time, into their opponent’s bin. this const-tutes a ‘hurley’. at the end of each game (a game lasts nine ‘acres’, or rounds), the team with the most hurleys win.

under the graaf-becker ruling (1998), however, hurleymaking is reversed, meaning, in effect, that there are now several ways of poncing a hurley, which are then divided up into different ‘locks’, or categories. these include:

– the three bin hurley, ie: the traditional hurley, which ponces a full lock.

– the majority hurley, ie: ducking two out of the three b-lls in the bin, with the pattern: us-them-us, const-tuting a partial blue lock.

– the reverse hurley, ducking on the pattern them-us-us, reversing their ponce and putting the advantage on you, which obviously ponces a quarter lock, which is either purple or orange, depending on the referee.

– the deadened hurley, tradding the length us-us-them, garnering a pinch at a green tri-lock, following a free shot from navel, providing a clear line at the bin, should you ponce it.

under the graaf-becker ruling (1998), therefore, the fullest locksmith wins, but only if his colours, when mixed, make a sort of yellowish brown, or else the victor wins. this then rendered all previous scorelines obsolete, thus making semi-professional side barnsley town european champions when the scores were all re–ssessed.

the following year (1999), kazuo ishigoru, the head of the world binball -ssociation (wba) and novelist, famously announced that, “following the announcement of the graaf-becker ruling, things have just gotten a bit too silly.” the ruling was repealed, the scorelines de–ssessed, and barnsley stripped of their t-tle, much to the dismay of their fan.

binball’s popularity has been on the rise, in this country at least, in recent years, perhaps because of skysport’s ever-popular ‘binball hour’, hosted by geoffrey boycott and featuring just a minute panelists gyles brandreth and tony hawks on hand to give their views on the weekend’s binball.
yo, lets go and play a couple of acres of binball!
binball – noun – sport.

binball is the original and only surviving sport created during the 2005 summer of love in abersoch, north wales.

the real ‘bethlehem’ of binball was gwell y mor campsite after a 80ltr bin was provided by scatman john (the manager of the gwell y mor site) to ensure his site was not desicrated by litter. christian s weaver, james o’sullivan, and nick taylor worked on the early formation of the game’s rules and regulations, aided by seasoned bin inhabitant camping gaz…these early pioneers knew the significance of what they had created, and worked tirelessly to develop the finer points of the game.

recently binball has grown in popularity amongst a select squad of devoted players, with training taking place at the stapleton training centre during the summer months, and at smaller more fitness based centers such as moss side in horwich during the colder winter off-season.

rules

binball requires five key ‘ingredients’.

the pitch – an large (250sqft) area of neatly mown gr-ss the bin – a regulation 80ltr black refuse bin the keeper – any item weighty enough to precipitate the stableness of the bin the ball – a size 5, well pumped-up indoor football (ideally, the gap promotional football) the players – up to 8 – 10 players, well versed in the art of the volley

the aim of the game is to get the ball into the bin by vollying it between players. play is begun by a ‘bounce-out’, where any player may take the ball, and vigorously propell the ball into the inside centre of the bin, resulting in a bounce sufficient in power to make the ball clear the rim of the bin, and thus enter free play. should the ball land on the ground between volleys, play continues without another bounce-out…put simply, the volley does not need to last from the bounce-out up untill the next bin.

games can last as long as the team chooses to continue, play is usually ended by a ‘three more bins’ target, although this number can change depending on how good the subsiquent bins are.

a player may use any part of his body other than the hand or arm…favoured methods include, the knee, the head, the chin, the ‘trademark back bin’, and the foot. use of the hand during a compet-tive game results in the player serving a 5 minute period in the sin bin…(the side of the pitch)

current notable players

binjamin netenyahu, camping gaz, logdon donovon, james o’sullivan, nick taylor, christian weaver, tim shinners, rob taylor, oliver haywood, jonny lomax, gareth fox, paul maurice, paul parkinson.

compet-tions

the world binball championships are held in abersoch each year over summer, the date of the compet-tion changes year by year depending on weather conditions, ability of the teams to travel, and sponsorship availability. the winners and runner-up of recent finals are listed below:

2005 – winner – uk
runner up – spain
2006 – winner – uk
runner up – spain
2007 – winner – uk
runner up – spain
2008 – winner – uk
runner up – spain

binball in my local area

binball is only played in certain areas of the uk due to climate and social conditions. these areas are under the control of the uknbbpa (united kingdom national bin ball players -ssociation.
alright broseph, any news about the binball next week?

f-ck me, that was excellent bin!