Blonde Herring


1. a blonde woman who seems to be very attractive from behind or at a distance, but after turning around she is actually very ugly.usually happens in clubs when you are very drunk.

2. a very unusual fish.
1. (2 blokes in a club)

bloke 1: “f-cking h-ll look at that blonde over there i’d love to give her one mate”.

bloke 2: “you’re not the only one mate i wanna bend her over that table over there”.

(at this point the blonde woman turns around and she looks about 50 and has black teeth)

bloke 1: “jesus christ she looks worse than your mother!”.

2. (two blokes on a fishing trip, one has just caught a fish)

bloke 1: “what the f-ck is that!? it’s got yellow hair!”.

bloke 2: “it’s a blonde herring isn’t it you stupid w-nker”.
to eye up a l-ss from behind thinking shes going to be beautiful but when she turns around shes a minger
“oooh look at the -rs- on that”
“sh-t no-oh my g-d no she has face that reeks of didcot and a fairmile smile too”

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