bluenose certificate
a certificate obtained by sailors who p-ss northwards over the arctic circle which (at present, 2010) is located at about lat-tude 66° 33′ 39″n.
this is similar but not identical to the crossing the line certificate which is issued to sailors who p-ss over the equator (lat-tude 0°)
my bluenose certificate reads
“all sailors, wherever ye and whoever ye may be, greetings.
know all ye by these presents that jack tickler did on the 19 july 1971, appear in the northernmost reaches of my realm, bound for the dark and frosty wastes of the land of the midnight sun and did with our royal consent enter this dread region by crossing the arctic circle by virtue whereof i, neptunus rex, ruler of the raging main do hereby declare him to be a loyal and trusty salt-lined and brine-encrusted bluenose and do call upon all icebergs, sea lions. narwhals, polar bears, whales, mermaides and other creatures of the frigid north to show him due deference and respect.
disobey under pain of our royal displeasure
neptunus rex (ruler of the main)
aurora borealis (queen of his pallid polar regions)”
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