bluetooth douche
a man or woman that always has their bluetooth headset on wherever they go….to dinner, the movies, taking a sh-t, whatever. they are always talking three octaves too loud and annoying others around them. they are extra obnoxious are usually talking about something meaningless.
the bluetooth douche at red lobster was annoying everyone with his inane chatter.
easily identified as the self-important guy talking to himself as loudly as possible through his bluetooth enabled ear piece. despite being on the beach, at a movie theater, on a date, in the elevator, or at home in his pajamas he wants people to think he’s tech savvy and well-connected. bluetooth douches come in a variety of forms, from skeezy office guy to overzealous tech geek, the alpha bluetooth douche may also be mistaken for a used-car salesman.
joe: that dude is trying way too hard to sound important.
tate: which guy?
dennis: the bluetooth douche talking to himself at the end of the bar.
tate: ah, the guy drinking the sapporo who’s been trying to pick up the waitress for the last hour.
bluetooth douche; noun. most common uses: in reference to an individual persistently wearing the aforementioned bluetooth device whether in use or not. a bluetooth douche may require constant attachment to bluetooth device in order to compensate for lack of confidence, lack of wealth or lack of s-xual prowess. when said bluetooth device is active the bluetooth douche will ensure you’ve noticed him or her using device by yelling loudly into open air or discussing intimate details loudly and in great detail. female bluetooth douches will often time pull hair back away from face so as to be sure the device, that most likely matches their phone, is seen. male bluetooth douches will often wear a pair of sungl-sses (see sungl-sses douche),in situations not requiring sungl-sses, to draw attention to the device as well. the bluetooth douche is considered a nuisance and form of pestilence and research has shown that bluetooth douchiness is a growing epidemic. scientists confirm that by the year 2020 the world will be run by bluetooth douches.
see also: bluetooth -ss
carol: gawd…he’s so full of himself. he’s not even attractive! what’s the point of constantly wearing that thing? no one wants to talk to him.
joanne: he’s such a bluetooth douche.
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