Bond University

elitist university on the gold coast, australia. devoid of communist dogma and concrete like uq, qut and griffith, bond was founded by convicted fraudster alan bond in 1987, a legacy secretly held strong by graduating students today. it is the most expensive university in australia and couldn’t care less as students proudly get what they pay for.
“oh you’re at uni? ‘getting smarter’ at griffith university?”
“griffith? see the polo? see the bmw? i don’t go to any public uni! i go to bond university, b-tch!”

“bondies: my dads your dad’s boss and one day i’ll be your boss too!”
bond university is a notorious australian diploma mill that is governed by delusional academic staff, and supported by a wealthy student population heavily addicted to drugs, alcohol and prescription medication.

the university is located in a satellite town called varsity lakes, a truman show meets kath & kim urban nightmare that is riddled with drug related crime and inhabited by dull silver spooned internationalists.

notorious for ill-fated behavior, it is commonplace for bond university students to abuse drugs and prescription medicine in what are known socially as ‘xanax parties’. dex-amphetamine is customarily traded for academic purposes and usually cost between 5-10 dollars each, available from cash-strapped sydneysiders who cannot wholly afford the expensive consumer culture at bond.

the campus is a dumping ground for rich, spoilt, neglected and trouble-some young adults; with the added novelty of customarily hosting different ‘batches’ of -ssimilation-devoid international students every semester. english is not commonly spoken at bond, nor properly understood by a majority of the student body.

bond university students are called ‘bondie’s’, and when grouped together, are made up of the most self-centered, destructive and narcissistic humans imaginable.

the university has no accreditation in the united states, and many other countries, and in 2009, the medical school was on the verge of collapse.
samuel: “see that chubby and tragic looking half filipino driving the white bmw?”

simon: ” yeah, she goes to bond university”.

samuel: ” i saw her shelving ecstasy in surfers, in a herve leger dress”.

simon: “lolz, her mum is super hot but the dad is totally fat, old and rich”.

samuel: ” omg, she’s such a bondie”.
buy
one
new
degree
person 1: i failed all my courses but daddy bought be a degree at bond university

person 2: i pwnd up my courses and got a degree without paying anything upfront