booty fever
booty fever, or glutealpyrexia, is a condition characterized by an intense, often destructive mental fixation on “the booty.” a cl-ssic clinical example of a patient with booty fever is a male who has been in the presence of multiple well-endowed females for a prolonged period of time. symptoms of booty fever include, but are not limited to, the following: increased heart rate, flushing of the skin, sweating, decreased motor control, impaired cognition, vomiting, and unwanted erections. in rare cases, booty fever presents similarly to an absence seizure, involving a brief, sudden lapse of consciousness in which the individual looks like he or she is staring into sp-ce for a few seconds. studies have shown that 100% of males have suffered from booty fever at some time, though the data on females are less conclusive. there is no cure for booty fever. experimental graduated-interval booty-exposure therapies have been researched; however, exposure to the pathogenic booty often worsens the condition. if you believe you have symptoms of booty fever, please consult a (preferably male) physician immediately.
-a group of friends talks over lunch.-
john: “hey, have you guys seen troy? feel like i haven’t seen him in a minute.”
max: “dude, didn’t you hear? he’s, like, the only guy in that one nursing cl-ss of his…”
nick: “i hear his section has over 500 people…”
john: -staring into sp-ce, horrified- “no, it can’t be…”
max: “it is…”
-pause-
all three, in unison: “booty fever.”
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