Bride Brain
a less invasive, but more expensive version of a frontal lobotomy. experienced by most brides, as they enter a catatonic state which renders them incapable of sustaining any thought or conversation that does not involve cake, caterers, flowers, wedding dress designers, chinese wedding dress knockoff designers, updo’s, hair pieces, color schemes, wedding themes, and personalized m&m’s.
bride brain symptoms include, but are not limited to, driving erratically because they can’t stop staring at their shiny diamond ring; being amused by the resentment of all their single girlfriends, rewinding songs several hundred times while imagining themselves walking down the aisle, and starvation induced b-tchiness which is generally followed by late night binging at a dairy queen. (note that this can only occur outside of the bride’s native geographic area, where they can’t possibly run into anyone they know).
symptoms are ordinarily well controlled with valium, alcohol and endless hours of watching youtube “first dance” videos.
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