Britain

a country with people who generally hate america because they lost the revolutionary war to them. people from britain usually have a large sense of national pride, and do not take any stereotypes sitting down. unlike many other countries, people from britain can get easily offended by stereotypes, even if they are said jokingly. the british usually like to use random examples like the sas to show that they are better than americans (in the case of the sas, anyone with an ounce of intelligence can look up failed sas operations on wikipedia).
american: “hey, you’re from britain, right?”

brit: “what, you’re gonna call my teeth ugly? fat cowboy!”

american: “whoa, calm down man! i’m just acknowledging your nationality!”
brit: “oh, go stuff a cheeseburger in your mouth! anyway, we british are much more technologically advanced than you yanks! we invented football (which you idiots call soccer) and cricket!

american: “so you’re saying that a country that invented the light bulb, microsoft, apple, facebook, the transistor, and 3-d printing is not as advanced as a country that invented some sports?”

brit: “too right, mate. actually, you’re not my mate! you’re a c-nt! also, we have the sas!”

american: “are you in the sas?”

brit: “no, so?”

american: “well, i have three responses for you: 1. the sas has failed operations, 2. there is no one “best” special operations force, and real members of the sas hate seeing self proclaimed commandos like your self decide who is best, and 3. you’re using the accomplishments of men you don’t even know and will never -ssociate as you aren’t and probably won’t be in the sas for your own gain? that’s pathetic. it shows that you have insecurity that you have to rely on other’s achievements to show that you are superior.”

brit: “uh….i have to go to tea……”

(runs away, m-st-rb-t-s to picture of the queen).
43 more definitions
the only culture alive that can use the word “c-nt” as any available part-of-speech.
a nation that invented football for the brazilians, cricket for the aussies, rugby for the kiwis and robbie williams for the gays
hears to you britain, shining ginger-headed pimple of the atlantic
britain is a sovereign state made up of wales, scotland and england. the superpower of the 19th century, britain is still the fifth largest economy and owns (arguably) the 3rd most powerful armed force. britain is home to almost 60 million people, 1/5th the size of the usa), or about the same as france and italy.

very small for it’s population, britain is one of the densest populated western nations. as the united kingdom (including northern ireland), it is a member of the european union.

domestic problems in northern ireland have meant that britain has had to deal with terrorism more frequently than most of its european counterparts. this issue has become less of a problem in the last 5 years, since the northern ireland -ssembly was set up and the ira declared an indefinite cease-fire.

once in possession of a number of colonies, britain now only holds a few smaller island colonies around the world.

britain closest ally is still the usa, which it has held a special relationship with since the early 20th century.
britain is mostly further north than moscow, though it rarely snows!
a country by which all others set their standards. for such a small nation it’s economic and political power is immense. most things that were worth inventing were invented by the british including football (soccer for you yanks) and spotted d-ck. g-d save the queen!
bill “hey john, i think britain is a much better country than the u.s.”

john “i agree, it’s not full of w-nkers for a start”
one of the coolest places ever. great cars. great culture and awsome tv shows
britain ruled the world intill america came and screwed it up lol
aka england.(to the very ignorant)
aka chavland. (to the british)
aka scotland. (“f-cking britain! i’m f-cking scottish” said jock)

now im not writing this defination to boast about how great, britain is. all of you already know about this and the name of great britain further emphazises the greatness.
i am also writing this to give misguided souls a true discription of great britain and to spell out common misconceptions.

misconception
no 1: britain and england are not the same thing.
england is england. are we all catching that?
great britain is england, scotland and wales.

no 2: not all british look like the “back end of a bus” (ugly)
apart from myself and price charles that is.

no 3: tony blair is not a w-nker.
he is a t-ss-r. (to the non-britons and idiots among you they are both detrogatory comments)

no 4: we dont all have crumpets at tea time.
scones are favoured accompainment to a lovely earl gray.

in this short sp-ce of time you have now grown accustomed to britain’s traditions. i will now provide a translation for tourists on holiday to sunny britain;

football = soccer
oh b-ll-cks = oh sh-t
a bit of crumpet = a good looking girl
-rs-holes = -ssholes or alternatly the french
french = frogs or dirty b-st-rds
“come on them!” = “you my friend are ever so obnoxious and now you feel my wrath with the old traditional british duel. jeeves fetch my dueling pistols!”

i am sure all of you will agree that these translations will certainly allow you to communicate more fluently with the average briton. may i also add the last phrase; “come on them” works most effectively with a c-ckney, scouse, brummy, geordie or scottish accent. don’t say it in the queen’s english you will sound like a ponce.

i now come to end of my explantion for now i bid you farewell. and may g-d (who is british) jolly well bless you old chaps.

(i wonder if anyone has a sence of irony or pathetic fallacy)
“of course g-d is british, the bible’s written in english”

please don’t start sending me hate mail about how the bible was originally written in latin. or if you don’t believe in a g-d. or if alternatly believe in allah, or them indian g-ds or if you are currently intoxicated and believe you are g-d and that you can fly etc.

“g-d save the queen and britain”
the greatest of all nations on this earth; britain has contributed so much to the world today as we know it. also arguably one of the most belligerent nations, having had conflicts with france, spain, germany, italy, argentina, itself (i.e england against scotland) and ireland (to name only a few!) during its long and fascinating history. many nations around the world have a real dislike of britain, due to its resounding successes, a clear example of this being france. britain invented all of the world’s best sports; these include football (the real version), cricket, rugby and golf. the unrivalled leader of the english speaking world, britain has seen its native tongue corrupted by americans and australians amongst others. although the era has p-ssed when britain ruled almost half of the world’s population, its forever remains the benchmark for every country on all of the six continents.
britain: need i say more?