bro points

– a systematical means of quantifying the values and actions of a bro.

here are some examples of the bro point scale:

10 points = driving one of your drunk bros home, punching a hole in the wall, tossing a football with a perfect spiral

20 points = p-ssing in public, performing a strikeout, grilling an awesome steak

30 points = making a hot girl cry, wingmanning the ugly chick, getting arrested

40 points = winning five games of beer pong in a row, punting a chihuahua, banging a hot milf or cougar

50 points = winning a pulitzer or n-bel peace prize, wearing a camp shirt, converting a lesbian

1,000,000 points = performing a homemade abortion, knocking out a juice head, getting head by a hot nun

.

in addition to gaining bro points, one can also lose bro points. some examples:

(- 10) points = getting a manicure, wearing ed hardy, p-ssing out and/or vomiting

(-20) points = getting highlights in the hair, turning down a bj, wearing tiffany’s brand dogtags

(-1,000,000) points = being a terrorist, studying, playing softball, wearing skinny jeans, being emo

.
“zach somehow drove home last night after drinking 13 shots of jager and sharting himself.”
“really? that’s bad-ss! he just earned 30 bro points!”

“so, the doctor said i have chlamydia.”
“really? well at least you earned 10 bro points for it.”

“i’m gonna kick corey’s -ss for having s-x with my sister!” “but first, let me add 40 bro points to his total”
a bro casually walking recognizes a fellow bro. he extends his arm in a somewhat neanderthal-like, pointing motion in recognition of that fellow bro.
-extends arm using the bro point- brooo! natty ice at yo crib later?

-onlooker slaps forehead at this lesser form of humanity-
the internal confidence points gained by a bro when he does something manly. could be any of the following: winning beer pong, s-x… well, you get the idea. (abbreviation in e-chatting could be simply “bp’s”)
friend: “dude, what happened after you left with shayna last night?”
bro: “she upped by bro points; best. night. ever.”
friend: “that’s freaking awesome. i’m still at zero bp’s”
bro: “it’s all good man, you’re points will come eventually.”