Bruce Willis

actor who always has a hangover.
bruce willis is the man. he owns.
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he who makes chuck norris look like richard simmons
holy sh-t, it’s bruce willis! several of my organs collapsed and i’ve been diagnosed with several terminal diseases. i wish that i had seen chuck norris instead.
a great actor who is very successful at playing a wide variety of characters. best known for his roles in die hard, pulp fiction, and armageddon.
“yippee ki-ay, motherf-cker!”
bruce willis can single handidly take out 21 russian mercinaire,s with no shoes on!

graham: oi steve put some shoes on and change your burgandy trousers.

everyone: laughs.

steve: carfull ill pull of a bruce willis.
the coolest man ever, known for his toughness and baldness.

also used for threatning.

imma pull a bruce willis on yo’ fat -ss!!!!
bruce willis was born on the moon before the dawn of time. he was the love child between chuck norris and a ninja. over his life he has accomplished many tasks including going back in time to stop a time paradox from occuring, forming pantera, and his acting career which he is most famous for. in his acting career he is most noted in the autobiography die hard. however they had to change his name from bruce willis to john mclaine because if people knew that bruce willis actually pulled that sh-t off, their eyes would explode and they would p-ss out their liquified innards for months. other real-life biographies include, rambo 4, the evil dead series, every george romero movie that doesn’t suck, and the star wars series as darth vader, except instead of being either a whiney kid or an emo teenager, he was actually a viking, and instead of obi wan kicking his -ss, bruce takes his lightsaber and gouges out both of his eyes, and force feeds them down his throat. due to this change, instead of episodes iv, v, and vi being nothing but him chopping off baby heads and eating everyne like it was supposed to, it turned out to be a long, complex trilogy which still kicked -ss but still should have been bruce willis eating people. however, george lucas was in charge and he decided to go with his idea. bruce willis got p-ssed and kicked his -ss so hard after episodes 1 2 and 3 came out that he sent him back in time 30 years and was forced to write episodes 4 5 and 6 back then instead.

it is common knowledge that every time bruce willis says “yippee-kai-yay mother f-cker,” and emo gets sodomized with a jack hammer.
there are rumors that bruce willis created a sucky jazz alb-m. however these accusations are false. he actually released the first version of reign in blood by slayer, but it was decided that the alb-m was so hardcore that people would die in gruesome ways upon hearing bruce’s kick-ss guitar playing, and thus hired the slayer we see today as the composers of the alb-m. the sucky jazz alb-m was actually just kenny g trying to f-ck up bruce’s career. bruce is planning his immense -ss-kicking as we speak.
yippe-ki-yay-mother f-cker
best quote from all die hard movies said by bruce willis

“yippe-ki-yay-mother f-cker”

youtube video
/watch?v=vtrtwcjk1ei