BubbleGum Princess

-as defined by shelton dictionary-

bubblegum princess (n.) – defined as a girl, usually in late teens or early twenties who believe that their presence on earth is a grace to all of mankind, and that wherever they may wander, a plush, velvety red carpet (usually sprinkled with glitter and/or petals of extremely exotic and rare, expensive flowers) should be infinitely rolled out to stretch beyond the reach of human eye for their pretty little feet adorned with all sorts of polish on manicured toes.

heaven forbid a bubblegum princess not get her way, for all havoc and h-ll with be freed upon the realm of earth. a man will shrink inches, sometimes feet, to a small procurement of nothing taller than 2” in height. it is very important to give her the way she desires, or you will be sorry.

the bubblegum princess species is one which requires continuous and constant attention from, usually a male species, that she hand selects herself and “zones in on”. bubblegum princesses usually hand-select the members of the male species which dedicate the most attention and focus to them.

bubblegum princesses will also request constant communication by any technological means necessary, up to, but not including: cellular, landline, skype, text, and/or sometimes, email. if you find yourself in the path of beginning a relationship with a member of the bgp species, be sure to free up your agenda first.

the best way to satisfy a bgp is to pay her lots of attention (pretty much all of it), and always listen as she speaks, for she will most likely ask you to repeat it, 9 times out of 10, verbatim.

if you find yourself in contact with a bgp, exercise extreme caution, as these creatures are like opposums, once they are agitated, you’ve pretty much screwed yourself into getting clawed/bitten to death.
mich-lle, a bubblegum princess