Bumcumber
a gargantuum haemorrhoid of colossal proportions, protruding from the ‘annus’ like a shiny purple cuc-mber of the size which would have nuns doing press-ups in cuc-mber fields.
“christ nora, what the h-ll is that poking out of your -rs-?”
“it’s me ‘farmer giles’ edie, they’re terrible bad at this time of year!”
“shiver me timbers! i thought you were giving birth to a blimp – that thing makes a blue whale look like a tic tac!”
“well, the doctor gave me some tablets, suppositories he called ’em, but for all the good they did i might as well have shoved them up my -rs-! bl–dy b-mc-mbers!”
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