Cacker Whacker

a tool or heavy blunt instrument used for whacking cackers.

often in the form of a half inch socket extension bar, baseball bat, maglite style torch or any other item with similar weight and length. usually kept behind the driver’s seat of one’s car or by the front door at a home and used mostly in self defense.

it is also known to be another variation of the wider used and more poular term n-gg-r beater.

the term ‘cacker whacker’ has evolved from local dialect of the southern counties of england, in areas close to the dorset/hampshire border, and thought to have originated in the new forest villages of bransgore and thorney hill. this is where the cackers run rife and cacker whacking, although illegal, is considered to be socially acceptable.

to be found in posession of a cacker whacker in your motor vehicle is considered by english law to be a criminal offence. that is if the officer believes that the tool or instrument is there soley for the pupose of cacker whacking. this is why heavy item are used, but those with an alternative primary function ie a baseball bat to play baseball with. acceptable if you have the accompanying ball in your vehicle, offensive weapon without.
to avoid any conflict with the law, the suggested place for your cacker whacker is in the boot (trunk) of your car where the police often overlook such items. however should you feel the need to keep it within arms reach be prepared to have to answer quetions if stopped by the police.
carlos: “oh dordy mush dem boys got they a cacker whacker an headed this way god scuss you dinlo boi. go’on away wi ya moi chavvy, me dead granfer i’ll beat yer muvvas lips in!”

dan: those filthy cackers are coming this way, what do you think they are after?
adrian: i dunno but i got my trusy cacker whacker right here ready for them if they want to start anything.

tim: hey what happened man? i saw you got pulled over by the filth last night?
tom: ah not alot mate, the pigs had a good look round my car and found my cacker whacker behind my seat.
tim: sh-t man, what did they do?
tom: they were going to confiscate it but i blagged them up. said i needed it for my work. they let me keep it but i have to keep it in the boot of the car from now on.
tim: oh mate, bad times. at least you still got the old girl, best cacker whacker ever that one!