Calder

a tall handsome male with a large d-ck, usually long enough to be laid across a piano keyboard.
i wish i was a calder, don’t you?
calder is generally a man’s name, can be a womans. that means to seek the young gr-sshopper in the meadow.
calders are usually tall and athletic.
calders also have a good sense of humor. they usually have hairy legs and take a while in the bathrooms.
calder was 11 years old when he fell off his bike.
anyone with a p-n-s at least 2 feet in length
look at calder, hes like a tripod
verb: to lie, making your friend look like a huge creeper to the boy she likes, while having done none of the things you said she did. in fact, in some cases, you did the things that caused your friend to look like a creep.
can be thought of as a b-tchy move. karma well come back to haunt anyone who had caldered.
“hey calder, my friend was taking pictures of you while you were snowboarding… look!”
the most amazing man you will ever meet. he is perfect from his head to his toes. he will infiltrate your mind and heart. every moment spent with him is absolutely perfect. he is very headstrong and will never give up. at times he can be stubborn but that never stops him from succeeding. whenever you look into his eyes, time will stop. his touch will give you b-tterflies and his kisses will always bring a smile to your face. he will love unconditionally and look past imperfections. he will do everything he can to treat you like a queen. he is the only man that will actually understand it all. he will make you want to be a better person. he is so easygoing and being around him just seems natural. he will make you the happiest girl in the world. no one else will ever even compare to him. he is above and beyond any expectation of a “good” boyfriend. he is the best thing to ever walk into your life and you will never ever want to lose him.
calder is absolutely perfect.
the vilest and most putrid species in the animal kingdom, rumor has it that they are used to mask people’s h-m-s-xuality, but that tactic doesn’t work… ever
management: we will send a calder to you if you don’t stop all this gay nonsense
a m-ssive fat c-nt usually weighing between 180-340kg that has no friends and tends to stink out a room with his putrid body odour. although he may drive a chick magnet, he still hasnt got a bee’s d-ck in hope of actually pulling a chick. while no-one is yet to say it, everyone actually thinks he is a giant c-nting f-ck -rs- who urgently needs a visit to jenny craig.
“hey dude, see that m-ssive c-nt with the triple chin eating a horse?”

“yeah, he also smells like sh-t. it must be a calder.”