Calm your tits

someone has become so angry that it’s becoming out of control, they’re impossible to calm down. so, one says they should “calm their t-ts”.
tammy: you know what i really think of you?

jon: what?

tammy: shut the f-ck up you ugly, atrocious, rotten, decomposing, nasty, menstrual rag!! you suck b-tch!!! you suck!!!! go to h-ll and become the devil’s play toy!!! go get mutilated and eaten alive afterwards you f-cking b-m!!! you f-cking slumlord!!! eat my sh-t and suffocate in my -sshole!!!!!

jon: calm your t-ts already, jesus!
this phrase is used when someone you are with is too uptight to calm them down
judy: “oh my goodness my hair looks terrible today”
steve: “no, no it doesnt judy”
judy: “shut up steve, yes it does ahhhhh”
steve: “alright judy calm your t-ts”
a term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.
dan: “matt your swing is awful! your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more” matt: “dan, calm your t-ts”
a phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, p-ssed off, raging, etc.
we can use other phrases such as “calm down”, “take a chill pill”, “i got chu”, “take five”, or “take a breather”; but “calm your t-ts” has the word t-ts in it and everybody loves t-ts. so therefore it is right and just to use “calm your t-ts” when somebody is about to rage.
however, “calm your t-ts” is a pg 13 saying. if you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
– “soothe your b–bs”
– “de-stress your br–sts”
– “undo the calamity that is in your mammaries”
– “adjust your bust before it combusts”
example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
-couple on phone-
girlfriend: you liked her f-cking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
boyfriend: babe, calm your t-ts. i gots you.
girlfriend: -le sigh-

example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
mom: why is there so many f-cking dishes in the sink jimmy?! didnt i tell you to feed the dog?! where the f-ck is the remote! make me a coffee and do your ch-r-s jimmy or you’re grounded for a month!
jimmy: adjust your bust before it

combusts.
-end of discussion-

example #3
tyrone: -takes off with quinelle’s weave without consulting-
quinelle: -screams- ackrite tyrone! dont f-cking play around!! get your -ss back here right now!!!
tyrone: geez, quinelle. calm your t-ts. i was just playing around b…

thank you for your time
an expression uttered when an individual reacts in an inappropriately excited manner to a given situation.
jim: “oh, my g-d. did you see that guy hit on my girlfriend? he gave her a drink and smiled at her. he’s totally trying to hit on her. i’m going to fight him.”

dave: “calm your t-ts, jim. he’s the bartender.”
what shannon says when she’s at the end of her rope.
shannon: blake stop texting me so much. calm your t-ts man.
a term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.
dan: “matt your swing is awful! your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more” matt: “dan, calm your t-ts”