Canadian History

a deliciously nubile v-g-n-. pure and fresh as the canadian rockies and warm and soothing like harrison hot springs….as wet as a great lake, yet tight like welland c-n-l. scented like the hatley park rose gardens, it gives off an intoxicating aroma….with just a hint of maple. well trimmed golden sheaves remniscent of prarie wheat, truly a splendour to behold. best to be enjoyed during the summer months.
hoser a: let’s head down to the pub and see if we can get some canadian history….

hoser b: that’s the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard it called……but to h-ll with it, i do likes the beaver….let’s roll….
a s-xual act performed in the presence of lord stanley’s cup by a large group of people (traditionally a canadian hockey or olympic team). during this act a single person often referred to as the “prime minister” will sport a pair of recently slaughtered moose antlers and have him/herself richly lathered in countless kilograms of maple syrup. then while humming the canadian national anthem the other partic-p-nts will remove the maple syrup and transfer it into the stanley cup without the use of their hands or inhibitions.
one of the most awkward conversations i ever had was telling my doctor that i got diabetes from canadian history.
when a man engages in a s-xual act with a bull moose. the man will attempt to insert the moose’s antlers in his -n-l cavity while drinking grey goose vodka out of the stanley cup.
dude, after watching the colbert report i totally did some canadian history. it was wicked awesome!
american slang for an unspeakable s-x act so vile that stephen colbert couldn’t define it on tv. it is known to involve moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup.
man, did you see sally and john get some canadian history last night? i’ll bet that beaver has to change its name now.
popularized by the colbert report, the canadian history is an act in which a man performs a maple syrup colonic on a female at a tim horton’s. this is followed by the male (typically with pubic hair in the shape of a maple leaf) putting his d-ck in her eh-hole. it is often finished with an apology. fur trapping is a common side effect.
we had some soup and donuts and i she let me recite a little canadian history, if you know what i’m saying, eh.
1.(n) a rough f-ck involving moose antlers & canadian apparel.
2. s-xual intercourse between at least 3 partners, at least two are bis-xual, and at least one is a moose. usually characterized by lots of squealing, begging, humping, & lovin’.
3. everything else
1. bob: hey baby, let’s study canadian history!
jenna: -slap- you pervert!

2. george: mm mmm! this feels so good!

eric: ooooh yeah, one down in the canadian history books!

3. sh-tf-ckd-mnb-tch-sshoemotherf-ckerp-ssybootybullc-ntcr-ppimpcrackt-tties
a hat-trick of gouch-licks followed by a syrup-tongued french-kiss to the r-ct-m. finished off with a refreshing dunk in a scalding hot timmy’s coffee (double cream, and extra sweet): body part optional
g-d, i love canadian history! can you p-ss a towel?

1
2
3
4
5
…
next ›
last »