car guy

a super hero who’s super power is knowing all about cars. he even likes to drive them. his arch nemesis is motorcycle man. by day he runs errands for his mom but by night he is…the car guy. if you think you’ve driven more miles than him, think again. if you think you’re a better driver than him, think again. if you think he can’t jerk off to an image or video of a car or cars, think again. if you think his alter ego currently works at macy’s, keep thinking.

most importantly is car guy’s equivalent to lois lane. her name is cat and she is one hot p-ssy. though cat does not know car guy’s real ident-ty, her and car guy have made whoopee many a times.
after running errands for his mom all day, car guy and cat lived the movie fast and furious tokyo drift

when motorcycle man sabotaged the town, car guy came and informed him he was going to call the cops on him. thus saving the world once again

car guy has driven further than mike.

car guy has driven very far guy.

“you don’t understand! i’m the car guy!” – car guy
a car guy is a car enthusiast who spends his weekend at the local race track and spends his days talking about how much power their cars got to the wheels. a typical car guy will usually wear a fitted monster or dc hat with a shmedium dc shirt to match. their jeans are usually very awkwardly fitted, being tight in all the wrong places. shoes typically worn buy a car guy are something puffy like dc court graffix, or any other rad racing shoes. another sign of a car guy is a zip up (also shmedium) sweater that is rarely zipped up. when approaching a car guy, be ready to make excuses about your economy tune or where you bought your latest monster gear.
guy 1 “you see that dude with the shmedium dc shirt and the awkward jeans?”
guy 2 “yeah, he must be a car guy”
-car guy approaches-
car guy “yo, i woulda won but im running my economy tune. but atleast i still won this monster/dc colab fitted hat”
a f-ggot with an incomrehensible obsession with automobiles whom also takes pride in his jacked up little car to the point where all of his conversations include (but are not limited to) at least 5 brags.

car guys usually have small d-cks (varying from 1 inch to a maximum of 3) and hit on girls with their out-of-place and highly inflated ego.

more often than not, car guys are typically utter douchebags who probably range along the neo-n-z- to even neo-liberal political scale but it varies.

car guys think they know everything about automobiles, so much so, they often times forget to suck their own chode once in a while.
j: my dad died yesterday.
car guy: woah man thats crazy but my car battery died yesterday and i was so p-ssed off because i just bought that sh-t!

j: -under breath- f – c k i n g c a r g u y.