care missile
metaphorically describes someone’s attempt to make you care, often about something that matters about as much as a gram of p-ss. the care missile is generally depicted as a large nuclear warhead with a smiley face visible somewhere on its body. make sure to notify the launcher when the missile doesn’t hit its mark.
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see also cool story bro.
ryan: oh my g-d, dude. i ate this taco five minutes ago and i just about shat my pants.
jim: whoooosh! hear that? that’s the care missile landing in the sea of j-pan.
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