carp

a s-x move derived from the shocker/barracuda:

instead of two in the pink, one in the stink, you put two fingers in the -n-s (pinky and ring finger) and one in the v-g-n- (index finger).

named after the carp because it is a bottom-dweller.

“betty was satisfied with the barracuda but feels more ‘full’ after the carp”

“to everyone’s enjoyment free carps were being handed out”

1. a plural for carp, which is a fish often used in ceremonial and ornamental displays. it is widely believed to have been cultivated in j-pan and china.
2. one who has an unsavory personality.
3. slang for an umbrella.
“you ate my carps! you ate my carps!!”

“man, he’s such a carp.”

“hand me those carps, will you? it’s raining outside.”
carp

a troll who jumps into a conversation without understanding the original topic and going completely off topic from the original intent of a statement. the person can also be described as performing the act of carping.

where a troll is derived from the act of trolling for fish, a carp is is derived from the asian carp jumping into the boat on their own.
i blogged a piece on how people’s backgrounds influence their decisions but a carp showed up and went completely off topic.
an alternate name to the fast growing dice game “cr-ps” which involves betting money head to head against your friends. this name came about through speech impediments of certain players and was more widely adapted than the original, to give the game more of its own individuality from the actual casino game.

the game of carps is simple. each partic-p-nt puts down a dollar or more to wager. the player in control rolls two dice. if on the first try the sum of the dice is 2, 3, or 12, the roller automatically loses and the challenger gains his money. if a 7 or 11 is rolled on the first roll only, the roller wins the challengers money automatically. if any other number is rolled, that number becomes the “point”. the roller must then continue rolling the dice until he or she rolls the “point” number or a 7. if he or she rolls a point number, the roller takes the challengers money. if he or she rolls a 7, the challenger takes the rollers money and then gains control of the dice. other people are also allowed to bet eachother on who they think will win.
jimmy: who wants to play carps?
monica: carps?!? i’m in. -slaps down a single-
tony: i’m putting a dollar on monica.
jimmy: alright, i’ll cover you both!-rolls dice-
(noun) an individual who, in any given conversation, will not hesitate to barge in with predating knowledge of said conversation’s subject or subject matter. often used to belittle others partic-p-ting in said conversation or to attempt improved inclusion.

when coupled with an a-frame “power stance” it is typically to reinforce alpha male status.

(verb) to commit the act described in being a carp
while regaling john with a dog training incident from last night, barry stepped in and carped me. he stated that he had trained dozens of dogs over the last month and in less time than myself. he then informed me that my techniques were ineffective and outdated, as well as clearly not how he would do it.
a trashy heavyset or thick woman.

often found lurking in bars; near or around closing time, usually very easy to pick up, but can also become very angry or violent when in groups.

do not approach if they are swimming in packs.

they like to eat lots of bar grub, tend to be chain smokers and consumers of cheap beer.
dude did you take that carp home last night, she was dirty.

yeah man, but she was the only thing left at closing time.
an effortless attempt to do nothing!
“do you want to go on the swans today dawson?
nah the rats are hench and i’m to carped. ask viskus”

“theres absolutely nothing to do today
yeh ano, do you wana just carp”

“blorse is so fat, he’s been carping all day”

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