Castleford

castleford is a lovely town about 10 miles south of leeds, located in yorkshire, it is home of the castleford tigers, who play in the superleague, and my friend is married to one of the players, the town resides 40,000 people all cool except for one person laura, castleford is one of the five towns within the metropolitan borough of the city of wakefield, it is near to pontefract.

notable people

the sculptor henry moore was born in castleford, the son of a miner; some of his work can be seen at the yorkshire sculpture park at west bretton.

sir john harman, former chairman of the uk environment agency was born in the town.

in the bbc series who do you think you are? it was revealed that the ancestors of writer and broadcaster jeremy clarkson lived in castleford and ran a factory producing kilner pottery.

viz comic of newcastle has two contributors from castleford – andy hepworth and carl hollingsworth. one of viz comics main artists is pontefract’s simon thorp.

novelist peter robinson was born in castleford
ahh lets go down to the jungle and watch castleford win
castleford is a little town in west yorkshire.

this sh-tehole is called home by some 40,000 dregs of society, most of whom are blood related and don webbed feet due to the reduced genetic diversity that results from inbreeding (sleeping with ones sibling i.e sister, mother, uncle, dog, goat etc).

the main method of transport in and around castleford is the “push iron”, known to everyone else as a bicycle. this mode of transport offers low enviromental impact and can be used by more than one person, simply stop someone riding a “push iron”, and say “na then, giz a krog”, and voila!

castleford is also home to the brand burberry, infamous for it’s quality line of “chav” clothing. if you visit castleford, it will actually explain a lot about why most “chavs” wear burberry scarves around their faces. it is not to conceal their ident-ty, no no, as most people who have been to this town will know, it absolutely stinks wherever you are, if you could imagine what the “bog of eternal stench” in the film labyrinth was like, i’m guessing it’s not far off. the face scarf was designed to reduce the amount of awful odour settling in ones lungs, thus prolonging life!

crime is also exceptionally high, mainly due to high poverty in the area, but also because when police run dna tests, it comes back as a positive result for half of the population.

the best thing about castleford is the m62. it allows you travel from leeds to hull without actually stepping foot in castleford, or interacting with it’s towns folk!
mother – “na then’ roger, as tha sister done beefing about them lads that robbed er push iron?”

son/husband – ” nah mother/luv, she’s reet upset, we’ll ave ta go ta teggies in castleford for a new un, that’ll stop er being proper radgey i tell thee!”