cat lady

an older woman who lives alone. she wears nightgowns and owns 17 cats. her house smells of cat pee, tuna, spoiled milk and bologna. when she sneezes she is engulfed by a cyclone of stray cat hair. she keeps a shot gun by her bed to scare away jehovah’s witnesses, trick or treaters and lost teenagers.
that cat lady sure is creepy. i went trick or tricking at her house when i was a kid and she stuck the barrel of her shot gun in my face when she opened up the door. wow. that turned me against trick or treating forever.
a old woman who usually lives secluded from society with her hundreds of cats. because she is forced to use all of her social security money of her cats, she eats only cat food and drinks only milk. she usually feels the need to name every single one of her cats with funny names and possesses the uncanny ability to recognize which cat is which no matter how similar they may look to one another.
“hey! let’s go play hide and go seek in the empty house across the street.”

“that house isn’t empty. that cat lady lives there, but never has to come out because she has it stockpiled with four tons of cat food and twenty-thousand gallons of milk.”

“ogm! how did mr. t-ti get out of the cat lady’s house?!”
an old woman who lives alone with multiple cats and smells of cat urine. the cats’ names will often be similar to “foofoo” or “mr. snook-ms”
“lets go steal a cat from the cat lady and lynch it”

“mr. snook-ms would you like some tea with that crumpet?”
a woman that finds too much happiness in her cats. this often results in the following actions.
-dressing up her cats
-taking videos and pictures of them
-telling other people stuff about her cats that they do not care about
-thinking that her cats are really intuitive
-wearing clothes with cats on them
-owning things with cats on them
-not being lonely because she has her cats!

note: a cat lady may smell like cat pee but this is not required
it’s so annoying when that cat lady posts pictures of her cats all over facebook.
a woman who has little to no life or family outside of her 3 of more cats. these women are usually on the heavier side, have cat excessive hair on their clothes, in their food and their homes smell of litter box (ie: an abundance of urine and/or feces).
please don’t let me grow old and be a catlady like pwidow on mua.
a woman of any age who adores cats. she does not have to own a certain amount, nor does she have to be old, nor does she have to smell like a litter box, but she does have to love cats and be on the verge of loving them too much and giving them people emotions and characteristics. she can be quite beautiful, but- as everyone ages- one day she could be the old ugly “crazy” cat lady, especially if she does not build a family or relationships with friends to supplement her love for cats.

there is such a thing as a clean cat lady. who only has 7 cats, who own a house and a yard for them to all run and play in. who can afford to feed and take her cats to the vet regularly. you might not understand why anyone would want to spend all their money on cats, since you do not understand any love for cats at all or who would p-ss up an opportunity to save for a big screen tv, fancy car, football tickets, what have you. cats matter too!
that girl is hot…

yea she is, but she has like 10 cats!

oh… never mind then. crazy cat lady.

that girl is hot!

yea she is, but she has like 10 cats!

ok never mind then, she is super hot!
old lady owning one or more cats, often recognized by psychiatry as having obsessive compulsiveness attatched to hording. most if not all close relationships are gone. mostly due to deaths. the cats replace humans as relatives and bonds are sollidified. atladies often found deceased with cats feeding on their remains due to not being fead by anyone.
the catlady had 26 cats before she died. very few people showed up for her funeral