catlock
verb. a phenomenon that occurs when a housecat decides to sit on or next to a human being, thus immobilizing them out of reluctance to move the soft warm animal from their person.
“i was going to do laundry before mittens decided to jump in my lap and catlock me.”
verb. a phenomenon that occurs when a housecat decides to sit on or next to a human being, thus immobilizing them out of reluctance to move the soft warm animal from their person.
“i was going to do laundry before mittens decided to jump in my lap and catlock me.”
when a cat decides to sit on a person’s lap, “locking” the person to their seat and hindering that person from moving about to complete ch-r-s or errands.
it is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete -sshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. the only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
harold, can you go take out the garbage?”
“sorry, hon, but old tiger just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonnahave to go do it.”
“oh, harold.”
“brad, can you go do the dishes?”
“sorry, babe, but old max just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonnahave to go do it.”
“really, brad…?”
“rick, can you go get the door?”
“sorry, dear, but old fluffy just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonnahave to go do it.”
“g-dd-mnit, rick.”
“andrew, can you go clean snowball’s litter box?”
“…”
“andrew?”
“fine, fine. the one time i need a catlock…”
when a cat decides to sit on a person’s lap, “locking” the person to their seat and hindering that person from moving about to complete ch-r-s or errands.
it is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete -sshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. the only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
harold, can you go take out the garbage?”
“sorry, hon, but old tiger just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonna
have to go do it.”
“oh, harold.”
“brad, can you go do the dishes?”
“sorry, babe, but old max just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonna
have to go do it.”
“really, brad…?”
“rick, can you go get the door?”
“sorry, dear, but old fluffy just decided to catlock me. looks like you’re gonna
have to go do it.”
“g-dd-mnit, rick.”
“andrew, can you go clean snowball’s litter box?”
“…”
“andrew?”
“fine, fine. the one time i need a catlock…”
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