celebratoreos


an impulsive decision consisted of the total annihilation of both an entire package of oreos, preferably family size, as well as one’s dignity and self worth as a form of celebration. usually accompanied by one’s friend, the more ridiculous the reason to celebrate, the better the experience.
because of oreos’ addictive nature, celebratoreos appear to be a can’t-miss opportunity at blissful enjoyment. that is, until oreos’ second-most dangerous quality takes full effect, causing sickness towards the product to grow to an unplanned, undesired, and very much unnerving state. regret becomes tangible as reality seems to hit you like a punch in the face. however, its most dangerous quality will lure you back time and time again, like the siren song, in what now you realize to be a surely inescapable death.
pat: i only let up 5 goals playing hockey tonight. celebratoreos?
james: are you sure? remember last time with red velvet?
pat: that won’t happen again.
james: ok, let’s do mint.

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