chair boarding

the new sport that’s sweeping the nation. it’s a combination of skateboarding and office chairs. it rocks.

the rules dictate that a person must be sitting on an office chair that has the ability to adjust height and back rest. it must also be able to spin, that is a must.

to partic-p-te you must kick off the floor in a spinning motion (called an “ollie,” by the veterans of the sport,) and then bust out some sick, ill moves without putting your feet back on the floor until you wish to “land.”

marks are scored out of ten in three different categories, giving a final score out of thirty. the categories are style (how the boarder incorporated the adjustment features in their spin), revolutions (how many times the chair spins during that one particular move) and pizazz (leg grabs, flip reverses, any sick move that your ill mind can think of).

points are deducted for falling off the chair, bad pizzaz (bizazz if you will) and doing a cr-p landing (the pros call this, “bailing.”)

the sport is still in it’s infancy but i suggest you join up now so in five years when it’s all the rage you can be like “man, i was chair boarding before you even knew what it was you big gay jaborni.
“yo want a game of chair boardin?”

“yeah dude, radical to the max!”

“shut up.”

“o.k.”

“actually, you can’t play because you’re a chump who falls of their chair, get some control man.”

“fair point, fair point.”
riding a wheeled office chair over a smooth surface, after building up speed by running or being launched by your fellow chairboarders. a popular way of relieving stress and boredom in corporate america.
on friday afternoons, work gives way to chairboarding throughout the white-collar world as the workforce looks to get an early start on the weekend.