Choch Daddy

here are some vital signs to know if you are or know any other choch dadies……..
-you put on way to much axe or any other kind of body spray when you get out the shower
-you own more than one hollister shirt
-you own a seash-ll or crableg necklace
– you own high-top sneakers and wear them too school
-you wear tight jeans to school
-you go too the tanning salon every other day(and you are a guy)
-you have frosted tips
-you use gel to spike up your hair
-your favorite bands are 3 doors down and nickleback
-you own abercrombie and fitch sandals or flip flops
-the only polo shirts you own are abercrombie, american eagle, and hollister
-you wear pink shirts to school because you think they are cool
-you wear cargo shorts that look like they have bricks in the pockets
-every shirt you own smells like american eagle outfitters
-you actually enjoy going to the mall to shop at aeropostale
-you think sideburns are neat
-your swimsuit and cargo shorts go down to your shins
-you wear abercrombie hats
-you own plaid shorts
-you wear 10$ panama jack sungl-sses from a local cvs
-you actually gel your hair up so you can have bangs
-you own and wear a wrist bracelet that is from american eagle
-you always wear an undershirt under your polo even its 100 degrees outside, you never free ball that sh-t
-you go golfing in your cargo shorts
-you wear camoflauge cargo sharts
-you think peach fuzz facial hair is sharp looking
-you spray cologne on every square inch of your body
-you play every sport in cargo shorts
-hollister is where you spend most of your day
-your favorite movies are chik-flics
-you actually watch newly weds by yourself on mtv
-you always sit down on the couch to watch laguna beach with your choch moma sister(choch momas are a different story)just kidding they dont exist wait they might
-you watch biographies about dead actors and actresses
-every polo shirt you own is either pink or brown with white stripes going through it
-you are the c-ckiest person in the world
-your favorite resteraunt is applebees(and you go there for the atmesphere)
-you wear ankle bracelets
-you look at yourself in the mirror every day for atleast 3 hours
-you have an expired condom in your wallet
-you wear crocs
-you shave every hair on your body(and your not a swimmer)
-you put on so much deoderent the you can see the gel sliding down your legs
-your best friends are girls
-you start to hang out with them so much you talk like them,smell like them,act like them,think like them,and look like them
-you wear shirts that say reeses puffs and lucky charms on them
-you are a size large but you wear a size small t-shirt
-your favorite drink is a cosmopolitin
-you go on cruises with you and three hot girls but you dont get laid
-you like 50 cent
-your 26 and your a virgin
-you think your the sh-t at basketball
-most songs on your ipod are aerosmith
-you tuck in the front part of your t-shirt to reveal your abercrombie belt
-your life’s p-ssion is to be a model
-you use the abecrombie shopping bags as decoration for your room and cut out the people on the bags to make as posters to make your room look abercrobiesh
-you wear big -ss belt buckles
-you bring your lunch to school so you can drink your fancy water
-you use adidas body spray on your armpits instead of deoderent
-you have atleast 6 huge holes in your jeans but there not on your thighs cause youd get in trouble at school
-you talk sh-t to people who are not choch dadies but inside you are a flaming vag
– you think panama city is beautiful
-you get manicures/pedicures weekly
-you wear “bod” brand body spray. because the guys on the commercial look like abercrombie models
-you use the word “fave” when describing your favorite channel, e! news
-you are a metros-xual…in every sense of the word
-you suck on lolipops 24/7
-you like to hang out at starbucks coffee shops
-you like mysp-ce a little to much
-you always chew trident gum so that when a girl walks by she might get a whiff of the smell and might start talking to you
-this list is getting your choch dady panties (from abercrombie) in a wad
-you pretend your a surfer, yet you have never even seen a beach
-you have a surf board that you have never and will never use
-you have a $200 skim board with little black grips
-you wear sungl-sses (the big -ss girl kind) at night
-you wear your shirts so tight that it could strangle a snake if placed upon one
-you wear undershirts under everything…even some undershirts
-you hide in the dark corner of a party so some chick will feel bad for you and come chat with you
-you wear earrings or studs in your ears
-your stereo system in your car is more expensive than your car itself
-you usually turn out to be h-m-s-xual
-you buy dip and dots at the mall
-you go into abercrombie and fitch and like to chat with the employees there(the male ones)
-you want to be a surfer and you dress like one, except you live in the mid-west
-you talk extremely loud even when the person is a foot away from you
-if you think this list is discriminating against a group of people then h-ll, your a d-mn choch dady yourself
-you work out every day of your life so you can get the most popular men in school(and you are a man)
-you think you are gods gift to women
-you ask for the season of laguna beach on dvd
-you brush your teeth in the bathroom of the school because you just ate lunch
-you have a lip ring
-you make fun of mentally disabled kids you sick b-st-rd
-you think you r better than everybody else
-when you where your polos you dont b-tton any of the b-ttons and then pop your collar
-you go to beuaty salons on the weekends
-you have the desire to have s-x with animals
-your favorite desert is key-lime pie
-you do the cooking for your boyfriend(and yes once again you are a guy)
-you love eating rocky road icecream with extra marshmellows
-you always carry hair gel in your book-bag just in case you have a bad hair day
-you wear sleeveless shirts to play tennis and golf in
-you shave your legs but you tell every body you have not hit p-b-rty yet,but you are also 18 years old
-you have pubic hair on your chest
-you shave your happy trail but then keep it in a treasure box
-you spray your k-swiss high-tops with tag
-you take flowery sh-ts
-you wear baggy/tight cargo shorts that squeez your thighs
-you do the shopping for your boyfriend
-you love baking cookies
-every hair on you leg points in one direction
-you wear makeup to cover up your acne
-you have ever been on an mtv reality show i.e. the real world
a guy at my new school made fun of my polo shorts but he is a choch daddy, so he’s a stupid b-st-rd with capris.