Christian Death Metal

sounds like death metal, but has biblically based lyrics. makes fans of traditional death metal foam at the mouth and become the judgemental hypocrites they accuse christians of being.

uses the music of satan to defeat his purpose.

pwns noobs.
“have you heard the new becoming the archetype? they kick -ss. oh wait, they’re not talking about eating babies, i can’t listen anymore. dadgum that gosh darned christian death metal.”
11 more definitions
a funny oxymoron that christian kids use to go against “the man” and still be a “good” christian kid. ironicly the blasphemy, s-xuality and violence of many death metal bands and songs are overlooked in this “genre”.
“i went to hot topic and got this f-ckin’ sweet new shirt!”
“cool, i got this sweet -ss new spiked dog collar and this shirt that says, ‘l-st is pimp’!”
“cool, let’s go get ready for church!”
metal that shatters the musical boundaries of what type of music should be -ssociated with what type of belief. music, after all, is all about self expression.
me: “hey dude you should listen to this metal band, mortal treason. they sound like freaking dethklok but they are christian death metal.”

someone else: “christian…death metal..?!?!” -head explodes-
forget gospel and christian rock — death and black metal would have to be the most appropriate possible genres for a certain brand of christianity.

consider the story: a vengeful, jealous deity, bearing strong resemblance to many a bearded viking god, has a half-human son (without the woman’s permission) for the specific purpose of ultimately sacrificing him by means that are both excruciating and bl–dy.

whereas the average human sacrifices result in something like better weather for the crops or victory in war, the ironic result of this one is that nearly all of us puny humans, too ignorant or naive to accept this lovecraftian reality, are condemned to suffer torments inflicted by a band of fallen angels led by none other than lucifer himself.

how f-cking metal can you get? does buddhism even approach this?
christian death metal lyrics in an uninformed imagination:
jesus blood blood jesus
blood comin out his eyeb-lls
jesus suffer suffer die
death metal with all the metal taken out of it, in order to make it palatable for the faithful, duped m-sses who think their tyrannical god cares what lyrics somebody else growls into a microphone.

why believe in a such a petty d-ckhead of a god? probably because they’re too stupid to actually listen to the lyrics of real death metal and understand why the bands are speaking out against small-minded religious idiots.
jonboy: hey, wanna listen to some mortification? it’s christian death metal! they use lyrics which are friendly to g-d!

bill-bo: shut the f-ck up, and listen to bloodbath, that’s real metal.
should never exist, a couple of punk–ss kids that think they’re cool but still are the boy toy of some priest. death metal and any sort of “religion” what-so-ever should never coincide, it’s just cheap -ss subliminal messaging, which would anger any non-poser metal crowd.
jimmy: oh boy, have you listened to that new cd by

billy: yeah i love listening to that while my preacher bends me over and spanks me with a bible.
death metal for those of us who like to headbang and mosh w/o all of the same profanity…although some will always exist
random kid: a death metal based bible study in your bas-m-nt? sweet
bible study leader: g-d + angry neighbors = very good