christian goulding
his name means “god’s child”. being named this proves his messiah status. goulding, originating from ireland, gives this man the normally impossible feat of total alcohol immunity. combining theses 2 traits allows for christian goulding to be the most amazing deity to ever walk the earth.
man: holy sh-t that man can drink.
wife: and he’s real f-cking hot.
man: what!?!
wife: sorry honey, he’s just such a christian goulding.
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