Chumscrubber
1. for parents: the chumscrubber is everything we ignore – all those subjects and conversations that parents and teens should be having but aren’t– the physical embodiment of everything we’d rather not deal with, everything that causes pain, or discomfort.
2. to teenagers: the chumscrubber is a hero, a survivor, a fellow teenager who arrives into the real world to protect and keep his or her friends clean.
a chumscrubber is the one that fights against all odds to keep things authentic. when everyone is busy being superficial and playing the “ignorance is bliss” card, the chumscrubber comes and knocks some sense into the world. this can be achieved in seemingly insignificant moments, i suppose… just one or two words, a look, a well-timed sigh. the chumscrubber is what the parents don’t want to think about because the idea of the child being more in-tune with life than the adult is just plain depressing. the parents are the ones that are supposed to be solving problems, trying to save the world. when they can’t do it, they ignore it. ignorance is bliss, ignorance is bliss.
“jonny was like a chumscrubber to us all.”
“dude, you are so the chumscrubber of this town.”
one who scrubs s-m-n off of various objects, sometimes to conceal the act of having jerked off.
“hey check out eric! he’s a chum scrubber”
“you are the biggest chum scrubber alive, dan.”
a chumscrubber is someone who helps clean up a friend after they’ve made a big mess of themselves. they save the day by scrubbing up the mess.
1: john bradford got trashed last night, he vommed all over himself and sh-t his pants.
2: mate, what did you do?
1: i was the chumscrubber, i cleaned that boy up like the amazing friend i am.
2: your the best mate.
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