Churchburners
unfiltered cigarettes, premades or rollies, g-d’s gift to humanity was the tobacco plant conveniently available in the form of churchburners like camel or lucky strikes. natural american spirit make some churchburners too, but they aren’t as commonly smoked as their roll your own churchburners. they are generally 70 millimeters in length, about 2 3/4″. actually the exact same length as a 12 gauge target load shotsh-ll believe it or not.
the reason they are called churchburners is because the more of them you burn, the sooner you’ll end up at church, in a wooden box.
despite this fact, churchburners and coffee are the best way to start your morning. filters? but… you can’t roll em’ loose and smoke them hard with filters. tastier that way too. and unfiltered cigarette smokers are some of the toughest, rugged, and coolest people out there.
nonsmoker: you smoke unfiltered cigarettes? aren’t you worried about getting cancer?
smoker: i roll my own churchburners boy, they taste better. and if death comes for me, i’ll cut off a piece of his ear and put one out in his eye!!!
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