churn rate

1. the rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.

2. the rate at which a person’s previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.

3. the rate at which a man’s s-m-n vacates his t-st-cl-s, prostate, and cowper’s glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
all: yale’s mba program postulates the “churn rate paradigm” as:

client’s churn rate = k(worker’s stomach churn rate) = k(new worker’s churn rate)

the intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.

1. the new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.

2. the work itself was nauseating. i would vomit at least twice a day. on high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.

3. it was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). for some reason, i always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. i hated that job. i’m going back to taco bell.
the rate at which customers / subscribers / sumbitters stop using a product or service divided by the average number of customers / subscribers / submitters. useful for determining growth trends versus customer satisfaction.
aol’s high churn rate indicates a low level of customer satisfaction.
churn is the percentage of total subscribers that discontinue
service divided into the total population. usually it is
expressed as a percent based on the population change from month
to month.
an average monthly churn rate for wireless phones is
around 5%.
how often a particular job gets turned over, time and time again.
the churn rate on that mcjob is high. gee…n-body wants that job!