Civil Affairs
a part of the united states army civil affairs and psychological operations command that specializes in a wide variety of military missions and operations to include:
1. jumping out of planes
2. preparing to jump out of planes
3. riding in planes, preparing to jump out of planes, but then landing again
4. giving toys to orphans for the opportunity to jump out of planes
5. constantly talking about jumping out of planes
6. bragging about (insert country here) jump wings
7. saying things like “dirty leg”, “when i was with group…” and “back with division we always…”
in addition to these tasks, civil affairs soldiers sometimes (rarely) train in and undertake civil military operations, to include -ssisting combatant commanders in their interactions with the local populace, acting as a liaison between military and other us government ent-ties, members of the international community and ngos, in order to ensure a whole of government approach to military operations and civilian interactions.
dude: man i’m so excited, my civil affairs unit has battle -ssembly this weekend!
bro: cool! what are you going to do!
dude: jump out of planes!
dude: so we’re going to jump into the objective.
bro: uh, but we’re civil affairs, can’t we just drive there?
dude: you dirty leg, back when i was with the eighty-deuce we always jumped!
bro: but this isn’t even a war zone… we’re staying in a hotel… and have rental cars…
dude: this year’s civil affairs training schedule includes 24 jumps
bro: when are we going to practices our specialized tasks that we’ve f-cked up repeatedly in iraq and afghanistan due to lack of training and familiarity?
dude: ain’t n-body got time for that. when i was with group….
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