clarinet

1. the woodwind version of a trumpet(as far as parts are concerned).
2. proof that g-d cares about us.
3. g-d’s own instrument.
4. the most dedicated section in band.
5. something only intelligent people are capable of playing.
6. rival of the flute section in marching band, and secretly plan to take over the woodwind section after the flute line is demolished.
ex. 1
trumpet player 1: the clarinets are playing our part better than we are.

trumpet player 2: i know, maybe we should switch.

ex. 2
devil: to torcher these poor mortals i’ll create the trumpet.

g-d: to show mercy on these people, i’ll create an instrument that is the most heavenly of all. i’ll call it a clarinet.

ex. 3
minister praying: g-d, what instrument do you play?

g-d: my servant, i play the clarinet.

ex 4.

clarinetist: i think i should practice till my lips bleed, so i can mske all-state.

ex 5:
trumpet player: i got an 850 on my sat and i play trumpet.

clarinet player: i got a perfect 2400, and i play clarinet.

ex 6:
flute section leader: ok flutes, we have to step up our game, against those clarinet players. they’re kicking our -ss on the field.

clarinet section leader: clarinets, yall have nothing to worry about. now when practice is over, remember where we hid our mace, tar and feathers, and -ssume positions. then we’ll take over the marching band, and then the world…mwahahahahahahhaahahhahahah.
my favorite instrument in the whole wide world to play. has a good range, a little over 3 octaves. a bb pitch instrument that is black with nickel or silver keys. made of wood or plastic. a reed instument, a woodwind. played in almost any style of music.
mich-lle plays the clarinet in her high school band, she is 1st chair.
a b flat pitched woodwind instrument, normally used in concert, marching, and jazz bands. a clarinet has a very large range, over 3 octaves, as well as a warm tone quality when played correclty. clarients are black and most commonly made of grenadilla wood or african blackwood or plastic, with nickel or silver keys. it is 2 feet and 2 1/4 inches long. a clarinet uses a reed to produce a tone. overall, the clarinet may be one of the most, if not the most versitile instrument in any band or orchestra because of its huge range and different sounds as you change through the octaves. when played correctly, all the octaves can sound beautiful and smooth transitions are possible.
the clarinet soloist switched through her ranges without difficuty and the beautiful sound that was produced was like that of a lullaby.
the most amazing instrument in the band. can be used as a weapon, spit cannon, and a way to drive your band teacher crazy. it has over 3 octaves, and with practice, it sounds great. if a clarinet is cursed, like mine, it will become great friends with the repair man. the clarinetists are the most energetic and devoted members of the band. we tend to burst out into laughter once in a while, but when its show time, we run around a few times and get serious. the instrument uses a reed, which tends to break… alot. it looks like a jig-saw puzzle when you first open the case, but with a little cork grease, it goes together perfectly. clarinets also tend to run away, or play hide and go seek, yes they do have imaginary legs. it takes a while to find it, but you always do. when they are dropped, it makes a loud and obnoxious noise, then the teacher starts laughing, then the whole band. clarinets do not sound well when you just ate lots of pretzels, and backwash gets in and comes out the cannon. with b-ss clarinets, the sound is low and its extremely hard to reach a high c. you can’t drop a b-ss clarinet because there is a neck strap around your ankle, just kidding, your neck.
i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to drop my clarinet during rehearsal! its the curse
the clarinet is typically a black instrument with just over a 3 octave range and in the key of b flat. there are other types of clarinet more rarely used including the clarinet in e flat, clarinet in a, alto clarinet, and of course b-ss clarinet.

the clarinet tends to fall below flute and above alto saxophone in a typical band score order. the sound is created by a vibrating reed which players can purchase of different thicknesses ranging from 1-5. beginning players usually start with a 1.5-2 thickness while advanced players use 3-4. the thicker the reed is the more difficult it is to play however a 3 will produce a better tone that is much more rich and dark compared to a 2.

a typical beginning clarinetist will tend play with a cheap plastic clarinet. once they have mastered the fingerings and the correct ombishure they may move on to a more expensive wooden clarinet whose tone is much more vibrant. the most popular brand of wooden clarinets today is the “buffet” (buff-ey).

in an orchestra it is typical to see an average of 5-8 clarinets with the fewest playing the “top” parts and the most playing the bottom (or lower). when played correctly the clarinet has a beautiful tone on wide range of notes.
jeff started playing the bb clarinet in fourth grade and would like to play the eb or b-ss clarinet.

kate plays a bb buffet clarinet, uses vandoren #3 reeds, and she is second chair.

colin made an accident in his clarinet.
quite possibly the instrument most closely resemblant to the human voice. has a tremendous dynamic range from a whisper to full cantabile. capable of legato and rapid p-ssages. composers have long used the clarinet for nostalgic or tender moments in music, and its versatility unrivals anyother instrument-cl-ssical, jazz, folk…truly the biggest -sset to an orchestra’s wind section
the clarinet’s sound is the voice of humanity
only the best instrument ever. very easy to learn, but hard to actually get good at. despite common beliefs from the other sections and the pit, you do have to be smart to play it. only the smartest people can make section leader.

usually the section as a whole is disfunctional, but is better than the rest of the band. despite what the cologuard thinks, we make the band look pretty, not them.

usually the ones that play other instruments, (french horn) and they are the ones in band who get all the guys.

band cl-ss would fail without clarinets.
do you ever see clarinets falling while they march?

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