Coldwater

a hick town in southern michigan. knows best for their corn fields and meth labs. on any given weekend you’re sure to find a bunch of c-ked up local drunks hanging out a sh-tty bar called ‘sirens’ or in the parking lot of a taco bell restaurant. or the cool thing to really do is walk around walmart and act cool.

and like its neighbor city in ohio, the majority of the people born there will remain there for the rest of their lives because to them, coldwater is the only world worth living in.
“hey, what is best thing to do in coldwater?”

“i dunno, get high and walk around walmart?”
a small town in ohio known for its drinking and lack of cl-ss. people that live in coldwater consider wal-mart a mall and mcdonalds a fine restaurant to take a date to. they are extremely ignorant, racist, and have a strong inability to comprehend what is going on in the rest of the world. the majority of the people born there will remain there for the rest of their lives because to them, coldwater is the only world worth living in.
brad: hey brooke want to go shopping in coldwater!?
brooke: sure! i heard walmart is having a big sale!
a village of 1100 people in ontario, candada. 150 kms north of toronto. coldwater is known for awsome sod, hicks, bankrobberies, the dentist office being blown up when the methlab in the bas-m-nt went arye, and rivers the local watering hole. also made infamous by a robbery spree carried out by a local street hero known as “squirell” and his female aquaintance. they were deamed by the papers “the modern day bonny and clyde.” …unfortunatley these two f-ck ups were so stupid and high they used a needle as a weapon to threaten the clerks of the 5 convienience stores they robbed without masks they we soon identified.
“you know where to score some weed?” “sure just drive down the main drag in coldwater and pump up the b-ss in your truck, a couple street rats should pop out of the alley”.
bad news; news that’s mean, harsh and difficult to take.
“but hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water,
these hoes don’t want him no more, he’s cold product.”
-eminem, lose yourself
a small mid west ohio town. many families are incest, your uncle may also be your father. all the guys are white and they they are “gangster” if you don’t have crew cut black socks and a flat bill you cant be from coldwater. although incest they do produce a cute girl from time to time
girl 1 “hey i found you a guy from coldwater would you wana meet him?”

girl 2 “h-ll no he lost his virginity to his mother!!!”
this is an awesome city in the western region of ohio. they are well known for their athletic abilities and good school district. although many of them are scrubby, most are pretty cool coming from someone who’s been there before. contrary to popular belief, most people actually wind up leaving because they aren’t freaking r-t-rded. many wind up in new states quite frankly. they also really know how to throw a party and the cops aren’t very strict.
john: hey, wanna go to coldwater? i know some people down there.

jerry: sure! this should be awesome!

john: yeah, he’s gonna throw an awesome party. it’s gonna be sweet.