colne

a town in lancashire! not yorkshire! get the facts right.
i’m from colne and i don’t live in yorkshire.
a very small town in east lancashire. complete sh-t hole full of dole dossers and drug addicts so its a smaller more boring version of burnley. locals have a habit of wearing rose tinted spectacles. they think that just because they finally have an argos and a next that colne is now a diserable place to live. its not, i lived there for 6 months and was desperate to leave after one week. they built some new flats near the beck. nice, now you can have a brilliant view of people shooting up from your bedroom window. it always smells of gas around there and the streets are full of dog sh-t.
only move to colne if you want to live your life on benefits
a small town in north west england. suffered years of decline, but in recent years has seen regeneration and is becoming a rather desirable place to live. filled with burnley fans and the occasional b-st-rd rovers fan, also contains quite a few man united wannabe fans. historic town which contains a roman fort and was a strongholding on the way up to skipton and eventually, the roman capital, york.
colne – full of d-ck ‘ed mc-ers!
a small town in north west england. suffered years of decline, but in recent years has seen regeneration and is becoming a rather desirable place to live. filled with burnley fans and the occasional b-st-rd rovers fan, also contains quite a few man united wannabe fans. historic town and contains a roman fort and was the last post from london to york under the roman influence.
colne – full of d-ck head mc-ers
a small town in east lancashire, famous for its high quality residents, cultural fruitfulness and diversity of activities.

outside of the main town, the area is generally known for its abundant countryside, which often resembles a quagmire due to it raining for 11 months of the year.

legends say that during the war of the roses, colne was the buffer for which the yorkies and lancastrians relied on, mainly because neither wanted to acknowledge the place as belonging to either county. eventually, lancashire lost the coin toss and colne became ‘a lancashire town’.

disclaimer: the accuracy of this legend is debatable, as the story has been p-ssed down through generations of beer swilling nutters.

in recent years the town’s population became a test site for the borg, to -n-lyse whether it would be worth -ssimilating humanity into the main collective. the experiment was deemed a failure, as the colne collective struggled to boot up a commodore 64. they demoted the test to a zx81, which promptly blew up.

the nicest thing anyone has ever said about the town is “at least it’s not nelson!”
why would anyone want to go to colne?
colne….a quaint west yorkshire village, full of inbreds, dingles & hill-trolls. just like it`s neighbouring town burnley, but the gene pool is is much smaller, thus giving way to lots of family-love during the long dark winter nights.

when thinking of colne, think league of gentlemen….& you won`t go far wrong.

colne, like burnley is a small village in yorkshire & is full of r-t-rds.
a pit of incests in yorkshire where the inhabitants posses all the intellect, wit and charm of a baboon after its been run over several times with a tank. in this place it is customary to call a women in her early twenties grandma !!!!
docters may say you have a colne rather than tell you that you have an std