Commentmaphobe
the fear of leaving facebook comments for several reasons
-you have the sh-tty iphone facebook app which regularly posts comments under different pictures
-you know someone with 3,000 friends, and if you leave a comment, you will be alerted all d-mn day of other peoples “likes” and “comments”
-you have location services enabled, you told your girlfriend you were at work, and you don’t want her to see you are in a different county
“dude, why did you say ‘i’d like to tear into that’ on my mothers picture?”
“because you posted a picture of a filet mignon, i made that comment under it, and my sh-tty iphone app -ssigned it to a different picture. that’s why i’m a commentmaphobe”
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“wow, you are a popular guy. your phone is buzzing all night”
“no, i made a comment on a super popular girls picture and my phone has been blowing up all day with alerts from people i don’t know. it’s enough to make me a commentmaphobe.”
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