Compressed Beef
usually a flat, round piece of beef often referred to as a ‘burger’ or ‘patty’. the production of this involves using the bicep meat of well-trained cows capable of many impressive arm curls. this is then ‘compressed’ using a machine featuring an array of logs which pummel the meat into a circular representation of submission.
compressed beef is often flame-grilled in secret, and traditionally served by meat representatives of a non-english origin.
the first ever use of compressed beef in this fashion was pioneered by terry nutkins in 1944 in an attempt to pacify the n-z- threat of the time.
‘what you having for lunch?’
‘compressed beef.’
(hamburger, cheeseburger, hamburglar, quarter pounder, xl bacon double cheeseburger, the great suprendo, whopper, big mac)
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