Coopers field

a large park in the centre of cardiff. this beautiful location’s scenery is often made redundant each and every summer by hopeless drunken children of the “emo” culture furiously vomiting over eachother whilst dry-humping anything in sight, homeless people included. other dwellers of this otherwise wonderful park include “chavs” that synonymously place themselves in public view with the “emos”. where the “emos” consider this place to be a public brewery, breeding ground and liquid vomitarium, the “chavs” have a slightly different agenda. these track-suit t-ss-rs hunt the vulnerable prey that is the “emo” by advancing from behind at roughly 2pm (by this time 95% of the “emos” are paralytic) and stealing whatever the under-aged victim may be carrying so that they may return home to ely by 8pm to purchase crack from a 36 year old mother of 274 children. more often than not this usually resorts to violence.

the less popular “functional family with 2.43989 children and a chihuahua / celestial horned aardvark” can be found scattered around the park brandishing plastic cutlery and various sandwiches and home-made pastries. these creatures tend to flee from the area within twenty minutes or so after being plonked on the bonce repeatedly with a half empty bottle of white storm by one of the intoxicated natives.
safe bro. me and flipper bill just “scored a draw” off blodwin in smallmans, wanna come to the blue shop and buy some motor oil so we can get “steamin'” and “block-up” in the d-gg-n’ tree about three thousand miles into coopers field and perhaps steel a “peng” emos tampons brev? -insert incomprehendable local slang to finish the conversation”… nice one